Evil Eyes, Hissy Fits and Sitting in the Dark

I was running late for work this morning. I rolled over and glanced at the clock, reading "7:48" and having a vague memory of turning the alarm off at 6:30, then closing my eyes for "just a minute."

That never works. I don't know why I thought this morning would be different.

I rushed around the house, tossing coffee grounds in the general direction of the coffee maker, tripping over animals and trying to practice patience with Ma's fun and games as I gave her her morning pill. I didn't think I was going to make it, but I did... just barely. I rushed in the door to be told that the power was being cut off so the power company could work on the lines. I pretty much broke my neck to get here so I could sit in the dark for two hours.


Our new plant manager was having her first full-fledged hissy fit. Not only were we going to be without electricity for most of the morning, we're under a flood warning, meaning we could be evacuated from up here on the hill at any second AND there are more storms moving in.

I just sat back, laughed and told her, "Welcome to the Asylum."

I spent my long weekend grocery shopping and working on crafty stuff. I had a discussion with The Amazon before I went shopping to explain to her that I would not be cooking anymore after work. Ma just doesn't eat much anymore, I'm supposed to be on that four letter "D" word and T.A. keeps vampire hours. When I cook dinner and save my and Ma's leftovers for T.A., it means I'm faced with nearly a pot full of mac and cheese or mashed potatoes up until bedtime.

No good comes of this. That's all I'm sayin'.

I stocked up on frozen dinners (with taters or mac n' cheese for Ma, the lean variety for myself,) grass burgers, apples, bananas, tiny cups of peanut butter (portion controlled, cuz I'm a piggy,) stuff T.A. can fix when she gets home, sugar free ice cream (Blue Bunny Vanilla.. OMG) and several gallons of water.

I mean business ya'll.

The rest of the weekend was pretty much spent sitting on my bed in the Pocahontas position, cutting sheets, deconstructing T.A.'s old jeans, watching the Buffy marathon and crocheting Turkish Evil Eye Protection Hot Pads / Trivets.

Don't look at me like that. I'M SERIOUS. Now you can be the envy of all your friends, protecting your beans and wienies from evil whammies, your spaghetti from sticky spells and at the same time, your dining table from unsightly burns!!!!

Just wait 'til I get them listed. You will revel in their awesomeness.

Oh and by the way, thanks to all ya'll, I totally sold out of all the "Shabby Nail Repair Oil" I had bottled up! I've got new bottles coming in (they're sitting at the post office as we speak.. I mean type.. or read.. WHATever.) I also have ingredients to make some cuticle oil for every day use.

In the meantime, my legs are all locked up from sitting on the bed for so long. I really need more room to spread out and work. Later this week I'm going to go talk to the bank manager in town about a loan for that camper I'm hoping for. I got one of those pre-approval letters from a high dollar interest rate outfit, but I'm hoping I can get a better deal where my account is, or over in Big City where I have Jolene financed.

We shall see.

For now, I'm shuffling paper at The Asylum, counting the minutes 'til lunchtime. It's a four day week ya'll, we've got this one in the bag.

Hang in there, we'll talk again soon.

Later Taters!!


tiff said...

Congrats on selling out of the nail oil!!

D-words are evil.

tiff said...

PS - Biff says hi.

Anonymous said...

I have to say that nail oil is pretty much a wonder treatment. I have everyone in the family using it now. If this keeps up, I may have to apply for a sales job with you. LOL. Just keep making it, I will keep talking it up. I have never had anything work as well as this does.

Mahala said...

D-words ARE evil, but I'm hanging in there.
*waves to the Tiff n' Biffs :)*
I amazed myself with the nail stuff. My nails are growing for the first time in forever, although I managed to run over my finger with the rotary cutter a few times this weekend. I accidentally shaved a bit off one nail (and some flesh. There was blood. Lots of blood.) More nail stuff coming soon :)

kenju said...

I guess I need some nail oil, as most of the time my nails look as if I've chewed them. Need to see the trivets too. Good luck with the loan.

BetteJo said...

Doggone it! I need to get religious with that stuff. Consistency with anything is not my strong suit.