Bears Don't Poop in the Woods... In Case Anyone Asks You

It's been a little slow at The Asylum this morning, so I've been using my wee bit of spare time to educate myself on the wonders of waste management, RV style.

I now know more about the dirty details of camper pooping than I ever wanted to know.

Stop looking at me like that. I never promised you a rose garden.

Since we're on the subject, there's some mystery poo on the sidewalk in front of the house. It's definitely wild, with lots of seeds and twiggy looking stuff, but it's big and kinda round.. like bear turds. Not like deer poop, which looks more like a giant rabbit visited in the night. I noticed a small pile on the sidewalk about a week ago, it was further up the road, just past the edge of our yard, but I didn't take the time to poke it and roll it around for identification.

This? Is RIGHT in front of our house.

Granted, I kinda let the grass get out of control and our yard was starting to look like a wildlife preserve, maybe he (or she) thought he was still in the woods. I'm sure he could find some tasty treats in what was the garden, over on the end of the yard where the grass is so tall I'm afraid to walk in it.

I'm working on it, okay? I'm old and fat and it's been like.. eleventyhundred degrees. Geeze.


I'm looking forward to the weekend. I want to run to Big City in the morning to check out a new thrift store. I need to stock up on used bed sheets for making rag rugs (don't worry, I'll wash hell out of 'em first.) I hope to add them to my Etsy shop. I'm also working on some change purses with the left over sari fabric (but I need zippers) and next week, I hope to be adding my miracle fingernail repair serum!

(I totally sound like an infomercial)

My nails were trashed after all the acrylics. Since I've gone natural, they split, peel and break at nothing. I bought all kinds of stuff from the drug store, nothing worked. I wish I could say I'd never get acrylics again, but I do kinda miss my pornstarrific french manicures.


But anyway, I did some research, came up with a strengthening formula all my own, tried it and BOOYA! No more splitting, peeling, cracking. As soon as the bottles arrive in the mail from the fly-by-night website where I got a sketchy deal on some .5oz bottles to sell it in, I'll be listing my new, amazing.. stuff.. in my shop. I have NO idea what to call it. I'm open to suggestions.

Something mystical, Gypsy, catchy..

Ya'll have a booty kickin', frog lickin' weekend. We'll talk again soon.

Later Taters!

Candy you ate as a kid®


Tonya said...

Bear poo by the house, girl you do live to close to the woods. That would worry the dickins out of me. I wouldn't like to be that close to a bear. I am gonna need that fingernail stuff. Mine do the splitting and tearing stuff too and it makes me crazy that they won't grow out. So be sure and let me know when you get that on your site.

kenju said...

My nails have cracked and split since I was about 20 and getting gel nails (or maybe acrylics) was the death of them. I
m also allergic to nail polish, so I'm resigned to having unpolished, split, peeling nails forever. Please let me know what you call your stuff and how to get it.

Dianne said...

yo girl
remember me
I was thinking about you and had to come visit
sorry I didn't call first but I didn't pay the cell bill

I love the bear waiting for supper picture

nice to see ya again :)