Birds Do It, Bees Do It, They Poop

This is some random dude from the innerwebs. It is not me. 

It's been raining for DAYS in the holler. It figures the air would be a sloppy, soggy mess every day since I put up my new clothesline.

Speaking of the new clothesline, the carpenter bees are not happy about the invasion. They've been boring new holes, filling my drying britches with sawdust and bee poop.

No seriously. The bees poop big yellow splatters on everything. I told The Amazon it was spit, but when I hit Google up for solutions to the bee problem, I discovered it was actually beearrhea.

It's on the innerwebs, so it must be true.

So now I've got mothballs hanging all over the place in old socks, a can of bug killer that I hose them down with regularly and have considered just throwing the can at them more than once.

Don't tell the environmentalists. I know they'd blow a gasket if they knew, what with us killing all the bumble bees with our cellphones and crap. But ya know? I've got way too much poop in my life as it is. I don't allow my dogs, the cat, my child or my mother to poop on my clothes, so I'm damn sure not going to allow the bees. We're surrounded by entire mountains full of places for them to squirt their yellow butt nectar, they don't have to do it on my porch. I don't like to kill anything, not even a bug, but I've given them fair opportunity to move on.

I'm sure they can find some nice, nature lovin' hippie types to invade who will embrace their need to share their waste products and will scrape it up and mix it into some all natural, whole fiber, organic dreadlock cream to sell on Etsy.


Not my actual garden, but how I suspect it will look by summer's end. This is also not me.

There's lots of stuff coming up in my garden, but most of it is stuff I didn't plant. I do predict a bumper crop of  beans and zucchini, but the jury is still out on the rest of it. Either bunnies or deer ate my tomato plants as soon as they came up. I will admit defeat and pick up a few plants at the World o' Wally later this week. I think my cucumbers are coming up, but it's a no show on the broccoli and the cabbage. At least the wildlife in Frog Pond Holler is gonna be all fat and sassy.

I reckon that's all I've got for you this week. Ya'll hang in there. We'll talk again soon... if I don't end up having to hitch a ride on the Ark.

Later Taters!!