It Ain't Shady Pines, But It'll Do

We've been under a freeze warning the past few mornings here in the holler. Hopefully it's the last real cold spell, I'd hate to be out cutting my grass in long johns and a parka.

Ma went to her noggin doc yesterday and apparently there's been a lot of discussion about nursing homes. I found out via text (with our schedules, it's either text or groggy 3 a.m. chit chat) that The Amazon is taking her to look at the less skeezy of the two homes here in Hee-Haw county tomorrow. Ma's noggin doc has her mom there so she seems to think it's A-OK.

I'm a little hurt that Ma is so gung ho to move to the home. I spent most of last night wringing my hands, snoozing off the affects of a nerve pill, blubbering like a fool and eating myself damned near sick... because that's what chubby girls do when they're stressed.

I'm not EVEN gonna log those calories on my fitness pal account.

Combined with hurt feelings and.. you know.. making it all about me... were fears about paying bills.. stressing out over whether or not the government is going to take the land (it's a Medicare/nursing home.. thing.. I'm not sure) and everything in the world I could possibly think of.

But today? Whatever. If that's where she wants to be, fine. I've done all I can do to please her. Whatever happens happens. I need to stop being so selfish, she'd be way better off somewhere where she doesn't have to be alone all the time anyway.


I'd better get back to work. I'm up to my hoo-ha in filing. Ya'll have a good one. We'll talk again soon.

Later Taters!



Lisa said...

It may just need where she "needs" to be to get the care she needs. Hang in there (easy to say, I know). The initial shock of it all is the worst part, I reckon.

kenju said...

When mr. kenju's mom was put into an assisted living place - kicking and screaming all the way - it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened - for all of us. Inside of a week, she loved it there and kept asking why we hadn't moved her there before.

It will be very good for her not to be alone and it will be good for you if you are (at least for a while).

Anne said...

She wants to go and take a look, good for her! She has the choice, let her explore it. Just check to make sure that getting her out is just as easy as getting her in.

Side thing we have learned by me in IL... to make sure that in the event of a medical situation that family/ guardian can decide your care. Seems like that would be a given... but it isn't. Anyone and everyone should check into that.

In IL at least.. if the patient is unable to communicate or deemed incoherent.. the doctors have the control on what medical steps are taken. We found out the hard way.. in a tiny town where the doctor was the niece of the judge.. and the cop was a cousin.. and we had to hire a lawyer from over 100 miles away... just to change his meds. (Turns out they gave him the wrong ones.. after the legal battle.. we got him a good doctor in Chicago. They switched his meds and he totally bounced back.)

Thought I would share that so no one else finds out the hard way like we did. Make sure in the event you are unable to communicate.. that you have those you trust able to speak up for you.. and you sign it now.. before something happens.

tiff said...

Ask Biff about the land/Medicare...thing, and then see if you can protect yourself from the unthinkable.

Moving Ma will be a good thing, but it also will add a level of complexity to your life for a time while you get the legals straight.

Best of luck to you!

BetteJo said...

Oh my. I can't even think about going back there right now. Yes, get a medical power of attorney. Once it was needed, I made all medical decisions for my mom. I wish you all the luck with this - it's a big step but it might be one that gives you a little time to breathe. Well, sometimes. Maybe. (((HUGS)))

Anonymous said...


Please speak to an attorney about the Health Care Power of Attorney, and protecting ownership of the land. Do it now, because once she makes the move, you may not be able to do anything about the land.

I'm a paralegal, and I've been in a similar situation - first with Dad, now with Mom - for almost 20 years. I work in a firm, and know how expensive lawyers are, but there must be a low-cost/no-cost legal aid office in Big City. Seriously, call them now. If you still have my email, feel free to contact me for help or advice.