The Force Was With Him


Lord ya'll. My dog scared the beejeebus out of me.

I got up at the butt crack of dawn Saturday morning to put Pupzilla outside. As I meandered down the hall, waddling carefully, I stepped in something wet.. and kinda gooey. I flipped the hall light on to find a puddle of bright red blood and some other unidentifiable matter in various spots along the carpet and between my toes.


I went ahead and took Ayla out, then...  with a Nancy Drew inspired process of deduction.. figured out that it was Yoda who'd left the bloody mess in the hall. Yoda.. who now sat at my feet, wiggling his butt with puppy glee, looking up at me as if nothing was wrong.

By the time I made the decision to get Jessie up and make the 45 minute drive to Scary Hillbilly Town to the vet's office, Yoda had hurled his body weight in fluid and made a few more frightening, horrifying deposits in the backyard.

I thought for sure he was dying. I was askeered.

We ended up seeing the 15 yr old vet youngest vet, the uber professional one who likes to explain everything. He didn't seem very alarmed as he explained the infection Yoda had picked up God-Knows-Where, comparing the good vs bad bacteria that resides in the gut to a Star Wars scenario. I wondered why he was talking to us like a couple of dork taters, we're not geeky people, we're not those people.. not us.

Then I looked over at The Amazon, with her Wonder Woman t-shirt, her Marvel Comics superheros bag, containing her Hello Kitty wallet... holding YODA for gawdsake and I realized..

HOLEH CRAP!! We ARE those people.

Turns out Yoda just had a flaming intestinal infection. Over $200 and four prescriptions later, he's feeling finer than frog hair, split three ways.

I, on the other hand, am freshly broke and have a handful of new gray hairs.

Hope ya'll are having a good one. I'm flying solo at The Asylum today, so I'd better get back at it.

Ya'll take care. We'll talk again soon.

Later Taters!!