Midnight Surprises

Gawd Almighty! Why is it so flippin' HOT up in this holler? Thank goodness we've got good a.c. at the Asylum now. No more boob sweat on the job. It should be an O.S.H.A. regulation.

Pupzilla, the arctic type doggy, has now decided that it is entirely too hot and humid for her to be bothered with going outside to pee. When she was just a wee thing, she was housebroken almost instantly. Now that she's 7 months old and summer is upon us, she's decided that she'll just squat wherever. In front of the t.v., beside my bed and hey.. why not just take a big ol' dump in the bedroom in the middle of the night? It's fun watching that naked woman leap out of bed, gasping for breath when the stink makes it way to her nasal passages.

I'm serious. I let her outside and she HOLDS IT until she comes back in.

T.A. says I should have her shaved. The innerwebs say never shave a husky. But she's only half husky, so what if I just shave half of her? Her butt is where most of the fur is. It's like a butt fro.

Maybe I could corn row it.

I spent the better part of my Sunday with my big ol' butt planted on our new loveseat, inches from the a.c., typing away on the first story in my collection of short stories about moving to the holler. I plan to publish the collection on Lulu.com in a real life, honest to goodness book (and probably a downloadable ebook version as well) which will lead to the use of senseless begging, pleading and bribing to create sales.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Anywho... I'd better get my butt back to work. Don't take any crap from this Monday. Own it people.

We'll talk again soon.

Later Taters!!


Jenny Defx said...

HHHAAAAA HHHHHHAaaaaaaaaaaaa. Corn rowed dog butt! Watch for poop trails. My Border Collie does the same thing, the bitch.

Anonymous said...

I shave both of my dogs wheather or not I should is another questions. I have no idea what the one is but she also has the massive butt hair and it drives me crazy. First warm day she gets buzzed. And she always seems to feel better afterwards. I usually have to shave her at least 3 times a summer but she always grows back twice as much each winter. It is worth the trouble to make her cooler.

Mahala said...

Hmmm.. you do it yourself? Ayla isn't a very "touchy feely" kinda dog. She spazzes out when I try to brush her, and for a long time she pulled away when we tried to pet her. She's getting better, even scooches at night.. but I wonder what she'd do if I came at her with some clippers..

kenju said...

I had to clip the butt hair on my small dog. It was that, or give her a bath nearly everyday to dislodge the clinging poo. EW.

Did you have to fight the dog for the couch?

Mahala said...

She doesn't seem too impressed with the couch. They don't like the microfiber fabric. I keep a throw on the love seat and I have had to fight Sammy for it lol. He sprawls out and takes up the whole thing. But the cat and Ayla aren't thrilled with the new stuff lol.

Anne said...

Our fur beast hated being brushed in the beginning too.. but the rottie (read food whore) in him makes it easier. (Rottie/ chow/ german shepard/ and collie mix... read fur from hell.)

We don't shave him.. but we do trim his coat a bit or else in the winter the toe fur collects volkswagon sized snowballs.. and it is so long he looks like he stole a daschund's front legs. His coat gets dreadlocks easy and collects twigs and small trees everytime he lays down.. so daily brushing for hours.

Try a different brush. It could be that she is more sensitive and the brush hurts. We used treats and well... our dog is only slightly smarter than a speed bump.

You are right to worry with a northern breed in a hot climate. Just keep an eye out for hot spots. Hopefully with some treats she learns go outside.. and go fast. Good luck to ya.

Significant Snail said...

If shaving that baby bald will get it to pee/poop outside, then shave away! It will grow back!

BetteJo said...

Oh I can't wait for the book, truly!