Of Cemeteries and Condoms

The Amazon left last night with her old friend, The Gritlett, taking off in a rental car across the mountain and through the woods to Atlanta to see some band they're all gaga over.

That means I can run around the house in various stages of undress until Saturday night. Well, I do it whether she's there or not, but now I don't have to worry about T.A. catching a glimpse of one thing or another and running down the hall screaming, "THERAPY!! OMG I NEED THERAPY!! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE NAKED????"

And? I get to touch the t.v. remote. Awesomesauce.

As she packed for her trip, she asked me to list things she'd need, to make sure she didn't forget anything.

"When I used to pack for weekend adventures to go running around behind some band, I think my list was a little different from yours," I explained.

"Okay, not what you needed, what I need."

I sighed and without looking up from my netbook said, "Booze? Condoms?"

"Mama.. seriously. Well.. there could be booze after the concert.." she added.


T.A. gave me the gawd awfullest go-to-hell look you've ever seen. "I won't be needing any condoms."

"If there's booze, you'd better take condoms," I said, drawing on my vague memories of being twenty-four.

Again, I got the look. "Be serious, please? I don't need to take .. those."

"Mmmm hmmm. That's what I thought too, and yet.. here you are." 

I think there was some heavy sighing and eye rolling after that. I can't be sure, I was too busy giggling.

~ ♥ ~

Lulu invited me to go on an adventure with her after work last night. She and her mama were going up to the isolated mountain community, way back up in the hills where our family trees criss, cross and intermingle. They make a trip up there every spring to clean off their place card thingies. At the cemetery. Where they've got all their plots, their children's and their spouse's all picked out and waiting for them.


"It's such a pretty little cemetery, I just feel at home there," she said.

"Lulu.. you're so morbid."

"It's so peaceful,"she added.

"Oh. My. Gawd. You sound like you can't wait to get there. YOU'LL BE DEAD. In the GROUND. Doesn't it creep you out just a little to spend your evening cleaning grass clippings off a marker for your child's grave?"

"Why no. Why would it? You're just silly Mahala," she laughed.

She knows I can't stand it when she talks about stuff like that. She used to tell me stories she'd gotten from her cousin who used to work at a funeral home, going into gory detail about what they did with your body. It still gives me the herky jerks.

I love Lulu, but she sometimes she's a weirdo.

~ ♥ ~

It's Friday ya'll... and thank the Lord. It's just me and Ma back at the trailer until tomorrow night and while there is a crap load of miscellaneous bull hockey that needs to be done, I'm not making any plans. If I git 'er done, great. If I don't.. well.. it's not going anywhere.

Ya'll have a great one. We'll talk again soon.

Later Taters!

1 comment:

kenju said...

I'm with you - the condoms were a great idea. Maybe she just didn't want you to know about them.