Smellin' Up the Holler

Well my Humpday got off to a rip roaring start. I opened my eyes, glanced at the clock and shot out of bed when I realized I was already 10 minutes late. I called Thelma to let her know I'd be there as soon as I could, that I'd overslept, then stopped myself before I took off, barrelling through the house like a bat out of hell.
One thing I've learned over the years, if you're already late, there's no sense getting into a hissy over it.
I shooed dogs out the door to do their thang, brushed my teeth, washed the necessary bits and pieces, threw on some clothes, bribed dogs to come back in, bummed a few dollars off Ma (I hope today is payday) and got out the door. I stopped at the Pump N' Go for coffee and a nuke-ro-wave biscuit. I had to tolerate some verbal abuse from The Amazon, but my only other choice was the Grab N' Go Diner. I've got too much work to do to spend the day sitting in the office potty.
I made it in by 8:30. Not too shabby.
Things haven't gone any smoother since my arrival at The Asylum this morning. There's something dead in the wall in Buster's office, we know this because up until yesterday we were smacked in the face with the odor of rotting rodent carnage whenever we walked within a ten foot radius. Thelma, his next door neighbor, finally had all she could take and pitched a southern fried hissified fit on the powers that be, who then sent DeeDee to down to the dollar store for odor killing supplies. When she got back, J.J., the maintenance guy, climbed up in the attic and dumped two cans of floral scented carpet powder down into the wall and emptied a can of pseudo Lysol. Apparently, that wasn't enough to kill the smell, because then? Thelma lit three key lime pie scented candles and one cherry.
By the end of the day, both Buster and his office smelled like a rat infested, southside hoochie hotel on Saturday night.. and it still does.
That shit lingers, ya'll.
Anywho, I've got to hit the ground running. It's the end of the month and I've got orders coming out of my ears. I hope ya'll have an awesometastic Humpday. If you need me, I'll be hiding in my cubie under a pile of paperwork, yacking up key lime pie scented phlegm.
Later Taters!
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Screwed Up Texan said...

Ugh! That's horrible! I hate being late anywhere and like you I've figured there's no reason to get in a hissy if I already am.

Mr Maintenance man needs to pull that dead somethineranother out of there asap.

BetteJo said...

Oh man - giving me second thoughts about eating the Key lime yogurt I have in the fridge!

Travel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Alex said...

They just poured smelly stuff on the dead animal? That's ridiculous. Seriously.

Oh and I hate being late and may have to remember that I'm already late so taking it out on others (also known as THE FRIGGIN SLOW CAR IN FRONT OF ME) is not how I want to be (most days).