Of Porn and Pot

The other day, as I asked Mr. I-shoot-rainbows-and-magic-fairy-dust-out-of-my-butt-because-I'm-so-damned-happy Bossman a question, I noticed a bunch of advertising pop-ups on his company laptop. He's not very computer savvy and I figured he'd picked up some adware in his online adventures, but I didn't say anything. He's been such a jerkalicious hiney hole in such a mood lately that I didn't offer to fix it, although I could.

I didn't really give it much more thought the rest of the day, until it was time to leave. I was turning my computer off, deleting my history, logging off iGoogle etc., not that I'm paranoid or anything, when I heard a voice.

A woman's voice. And it came from Bossman's office.

"Oh my, you ARE tight, let me get that for you."

Excuse me.. what?

Suddenly, my mind's eye was filled with so many images. Girl on girl massages. Bossman at his computer with his eyes bulging and his tongue hanging out of his mouth, red faced and excited, one hand on his mouse, the other.. well.. you know.

Pass the mind bleach please.

I checked the time. 4:55 pm. I flew out of here like a bat out of hell.

The next day, yesterday,  Mr. I-haven't-smiled-since-1982-and-that-was-probably-gas Bossman spent the entire workday in his office with the door closed. He didn't come out and speak to anyone for most of the day. The question is, was he surfing porn? Or trying to get the adware off his company lappy?

I'd really rather not think about it too much.

He's got his door closed today too. Let's pretend he's working on a big, exciting order. Kay?

In other news...

I walked in Thelma's office the other day, just as she was screaming into the phone, "WAS HE CHARGED? OH. MY. GAWD. BEAT him. You go pick him up and BEAT him. Do you hear me?"

All I could think was "Lawd have mercy they're gonna kill a youngin."

As soon as she got off the phone, she looked up at me, crazed and dazed and said, "IN JAIL. My son is IN JAIL. For SMOKING POT!"

Her husband, the town cop, had gotten a call from the county to come get his boy. I would not want to be that boy. This happened in between calls from her sister who was at the hospital with their dad, who'd had a mild stroke the other day. If you'll remember, The Amazon works for Thelma's dad, so Thelma's also been going up to the Pump N' Go to pull a shift here and there so T.A. could have a shift off once in a while.

It sucks to be Thelma right now.

My life? Seems pretty darned peachy at the moment. It's all about perspective. Put that in your bong pipe and smoke it.

It's Humpday ya'll. Let's hump it on a natural high and get this week the hell over with.

We'll talk again soon!

Later Taters!



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