When Nutburgers Get the Crud

Lawd have mercy. When it rains it pours.

I was being all cocky at the Asylum yesterday about how much better I was feeling, not coughing, I had this crud-plague-thingie licked. I'd taken it by the cajones and showed it who's boss.

And then?

Last night, I laid down to go to bed and within a few minutes it was like a giant wad of mucussy plague ridden snot had formed in my throat, refusing to budge. When I coughed, I sounded like a three week old chihuahua. I got up, got something to drink, walked the floors, laid back down and it came back. I took some Benadryl, only because I'd already taken everything else in the house and nothing was working, thinking it would knock me out, then got all paranoid that it would knock me out and I'd get choked in my sleep and die. The warm rush of panic flowed up my body, I started hyperventilating and lept to my feet.

And ya'll wonder why I can't find a husband. Can you imagine trying to sleep in the same bed with me?

I looked for my "omg I'm losing my chit and I'm gonna die" panic pills, but then I started thinking that maaaybe I wasn't supposed to take it with antihistamines but I wasn't sure if I'd actually read that somewhere or if I just thought I did.

I turned all the lights on and played on the computer for a few minutes to get my mind off what I KNEW was a huge irrational drama that I'd built up in my own head. I figured, I'd conk out eventually.

Five o'clock. In the morning. I finally dozed off. I get up at 6:30.

Yeah.. I called in sick. That's when I realized my voice was completely gone. Poor Thelma thought she had an obscene caller on the line. I got some snooze time in this morning, then went to the doctor this afternoon. She said I had all kindsa stuff going on at one time.. a sinus infection, chest congestion and severe inflammation of this, that and the other. I came out of there with steroids, antibiotics and a prescription for some uber cough syrup containing hydrocodone to help me sleep. I ended up not getting the last one filled, $95 was a little too steep for my budget. She changed some of my other stuff too so I ended up with 4 bags of pills when I came out of Wally World.

I feel so old.

Oh yeah.. she also told me not to talk at all and I might have my voice back in a few days. How am I supposed to take care of customers if I can't talk on the phone? I'm showing up at the Asylum tomorrow, but I don't know how it's going to work.

This could get interesting.

The dogs are loving that I can't talk. Thankfully, when I stand by the door and open and close it, looking at them with raised brows and pointing outside, they understand what I'm asking. Unfortunately, when I need them to come back in, they look up and see me on the top step, stomping, clapping and barely squeaking above a whisper and I swear, they laugh as they trot off, frolicking amongst the ivy without a care in the world.


I'm gonna go find something to drink and check to see if it's time to take a pill. I'm sure it's time to take something.

Ya'll have an awesome Humpday tomorrow. We'll talk again soon.

Later Taters!!!


Keli said...

hoping you are feeling much less cruddy soon :)

kenju said...

What Keli said!

tiff said...

How,,,how...HOW can you make being sick so funny???

Hope you're all wellbetter soon.

LindaN said...

agrees with tiff, you sure can make sickness fun! Hope it soon gets better.

Travel said...

If the odd Irishman leaves (I hope he does) NBC could use you. Stay warm, take care of yourself, and keep writing the funny stuff.

Tonya said...

Girl I sure hope the crud goes away soon. Keep popping those pills and hopefully sleep through some of it if possible.

Teressa Flye said...

DRUGZ, FTW! *hugs* Get over this crap already!

The Queen said...

Same thing with me last night. I totally convinced myself, I went from OK.. to dying. it two seconds.

I went to the urgent care thingy today and got drugs..

I love that doctor.. good drugs.. I feel better..

BetteJo said...

That's so nasty!!!