My Talents Are Endless

The little metal doohickey where the deadbolt goes on the front door is bent all to hell. The kitchen floor smells like the stagnant, green sludge that coats the Dismal Swamp back home in Virginia. Ma is pouting.  I had to go buy plyers. Our front porch is piled full with an old washer, a metal ramp and cardboard. I only threatened to kill the Amazon about three times.

But we did it. We got the new washer installed. The hot water is cold and the cold water is hot, because by the time I realized it, my ass was whipped up one side and down the other and I figured it could wait to be fixed, but the washer is functional. And? It aggitates. No broom handle required.

Me and the Amazon are even considering using the new Lowe's card to buy some new flooring for the living room after we pay this off. We may even install it ourselves.

We're starting to feel kind froggy down in the holler.

So how long do I leave the old washer sitting on the front porch of my trailer before I get my official Hillbilly merrit badge?

Just curious.

I'm the Sales Ninja this week, so I gotta like.. actually work and stuff. Ya'll take care, we'll talk again soon.

Later Taters!


Tonya said...

Well around here the washer on the porch makes it official pretty much from day one. So you should appy for that badge this week. But if you put the washer in the front yard and put some flowers on top of it you can qualify for the super redneck badge.

AZJazzyJ said...

keep it out there plug it in and offer washer rides for a quarter. You'll be the most popular trailer in the park.

kenju said...

Congrats on the installation. I guess as long as you know what's up with the temps it's all good. Get the washer off the porch, though. Maybe someone will haul it away for parts.

BetteJo said...

You're more than a sales ninja if you installed the washing machine. Way to go!

LindaN said...

changed floor last year and got some "click" parquet flooring that even i with tumb in middle of hand could put in easy.

tiff said...

You rock.

MJ said...

I'm excited if I can screw in a lightbulb correctly. Kudos to you on doing a whole washing machine.