Drama! Mayhem! Carnage!

The other day I was playing on the innerwebs working hard for the man when I overheard a conversation taking place between Thelma and one of the guys from out on the floor.

"Did you hear who got run over down at the diner?" Thelma asked.

"Nobody will say fer sure, but they said both his laigs wuz broke," a male voice answered.

As I started to get up and head across the hall for details, I received a text message from the Amazon.

"OMG! Somebody got run over at the diner!"

I was frantically texting back, asking who the heck it was while simultaneously trying to listen across the hall for details when I heard the scanner going off in Thelma's office.

"He must be bad if they're trying to get the helicopter to come in," she stated.

By now I was in the throws of mad texting, eavesdropping and trying to put all the information together when I realized I'd become one of them. One of those people. People like Ma, Louise and Thelma's grandma who are so starved for some excitement in their lives that when they catch wind of something going on in town, everything else comes to a complete standstill. That realization only slowed me down for about a millisecond.

It took the better part of the afternoon, phone calls between Thelma and T.A., a call to Ma and one to the diner.. on the premise of asking about the dinner special, but we finally found out what happened.

A hiker, fresh off the trail,  was on the front porch of the diner to meet his family who had driven up to meet him. (Those of you who checked out the story about the small mountain town in that magazine with focus on living in the south, will know the porch I speak of.) At the same time, a family of Indian descent was pulling into the parking lot at the Grab N' Go (and go and go) to sample some good, down home, southern cooking. They were a large family, arriving in two cars, one of which was being driven by a 16 year old boy. When the poor feller pulled into the lot, he mistook the area designated for the paper box for a parking spot and had to make a quick maneuver to keep from hitting it with his parents' expensive, luxury vehicle. Unfortunately, in a fit of nerves, he accidentally hit the gas pedal instead of the brake, ran over the curb and up on to the porch and through the railing, taking the hiker down in the process.

Bystanders I spoke to later said his legs were a mess, bones sticking out all over the place. Apparently the hiker was laying there, both legs broken yet screaming obscenities at the 16 year old driver, over the heads of the paramedics who were trying to treat him. Some locals apparently told him he needed to shut the hell up and thank God he was alive.

I reckon I'd be doing some heavy duty cussing too, but I feel sorry for that kid.

Anywho...

It looks like Lulu's husband will be spending his nights down at the Grab N' Go (and go and go) until he gets that porch rebuilt. Lulu won't be happy. The extra money is nice, but she'd rather her bubbahubby didn't spend so much time hanging around down there.

The owner has a little bit of a reputation, if you know what I mean.

It's Hump Day ya'll. Let's hump it like a drunken belly dancer, with rings on our fingers and bells on our toes.

We'll talk again soon.

Later Taters!