Satanic Salesmen, Geeks and Bad Luck

The dark skies seem to ebb and flow over the holler this morning, with intermittent shadows burned in two by the bright, shining sun. The view causes an eerie, surreal kind of feeling. Sort of how life is right now... undecided, in the midst of change but still unsure of which way to go.

I had to hit the ground running as soon as I arrived at the Asylum, but I think I've got all major fires put out for the time being. I can take a momentary breather without feeling too guilty.

Me and the Amazon headed out to the edge of civilization yesterday, to the tiny oasis of strip malls and fast food drive-thrus just across the Hee-Haw county line. The guy who owns the Pump N' Go also has a trucking company, with garage and has offered to replace the rotors on Jolene. This is a good thing, because it means I don't have to deal with Cletus up at the only repair place in town.

Me and Cletus don't hit it off too well.


There were two guys working at the parts place, one who looked like he might know how to change a tire, but refused to acknowledge my presence, lest I interrupt his angry key punching. He stopped me in my tracks with his satanic glare before I'd even gotten within 5 feet of the counter.

"I. will. be. with. you. in. a. moment. MA'AM!"

Ooooookay. I can take a hint. Noooo problem.

So I stood and waited patiently for the other salesguy, looking like he was fresh out of diapers, who was happily assisting another customer. I stood there.. keeping my distance from the counter out of fear that Satan the Salesman would suddenly leap like a wildcat, wielding an exhaust pipe at my head.

After about five minutes, the little guy finished with his customer and motioned me over to the counter. He found everything I needed until he got to the back rotors. Apparently there are two sizes and he didn't know which one would fit my truck... so now I gotta find someone to pull the tire off and tell me what the crap to buy. Or call another parts place and see if they know. I'm thinking either size would fit.. one's just probably an upgraded part with a .25" difference in diameter.

But then.. I don't know shit from shine-ola when it comes to truck parts so.. who knows.

After that we drove out to the comic book store for the second time in two months so the Amazon could pick up her coveted Jim Butcher comic, only to find... for the second time in two months.. that it wasn't available yet.

Yes.. a comic book geek was produced from my womb. I don't know how it happened. We also have a dog named Yoda and a bird named Merlin. I'm still in denial.

Seeing how our luck was not happening... I blame Satan the Salesman and his death glare... I gently suggested to the Amazon that maybe getting our hair cut wasn't such a great idea. She agreed and by then her mouth was all stabby hurty anyway, so we hit up CVS for some spackle and paint make-up and stopped for dog food, gave up and went home.

Tomorrow, we're heading in the other direction to Scary Hillbilly Town, where there are race tracks and rednecks who grew up playing in the mud behind the office of their granddaddy's junk yard. By gawd, I'll find someone who knows something about fixin' a truck out there.

Getting there isn't a problem. Stopping might be a little tricky. Wish me luck.

Ya'll have an ass kickin' weekend. We'll talk again soon.

Later Taters!


Anonymous said...

I have run into MANY Satan the Salesmen. As a matter of fact my truck is due in for a recall part they need to put on and I'm so pissy about the condescending a-hole I'll have to deal with that I can't get myself to make the call. :)

(who is probably changing her name to Coffee Please soon so don't freak when you see it, k?)

kenju said...

It's too bad you live so far from here. My son-in-law has a guy who can fix anything and seems honest.

BetteJo said...

I am so tired of car repairs!!! My exhaust is next. Hope your repair is the only one you have for a while.

Frank said...

We were without an internet connection for almost a week. One of the first things I did was catch up on reading your posts. I didn't realize how much a part of my day checking in with you had become until I couldn't do it.