Keep Smiling, Even When it All Goes to Hell

I got up this morning feelin' all perkalicious knowing I was going to work with a new hairdo and looking forward to all the compliments. After much primping and coiffing I hopped in the truck and scooted on up to the Asylum. As I pulled in to my parking space, I glanced in the rear view mirror, applied a little lip balm and slipped in to my hoodie. It's chilly out and I figured I'd need it on my morning walk around the property.

Ya'll kinda know what's comin' don't ya?


I got about half way in to my walk when I heard a great howl boiling up from down in the holler. I silently prayed it was heading the other way, but seconds later I heard it whip up the hill, bending the pines nearly in half and blowing a sheet of siding off the enclosure on top of the building.

There went the hair.

No amount of hair spray could stand up to that kinda wind.. except maybe AquaNet Ultra-Hold, the kind they stopped making in the 80's when it was discovered that Hair Metal bands were solely responsible for the massive hole in the ozone layer.

It kept howling and blowing all the way around. By the time I got back to the truck, my head looked like a bird's nest. Luckily I had a brush in my purse. Once I got inside, it took me ten minutes to get all the knots out of it.

I finally got settled down, took a deep breath, poured myself a cuppa coffee and popped the top off my bowl of oatmeal. As I was stirring it, my hand decided to go all wonky and spaz for no reason, splattering cold milk all over the front of my blouse. I'm not sure why but, my jacked up hand joints only seem to go all spazzy when liquids are involved.

If ya'll knew how much water accidentally ends up in the toaster when I'm trying to make coffee in the mornings, you'd seriously fear for my safety.

All was not lost however. The GM, you remember.. the one who's had three sexual harrassment cases filed against him... he stopped me in the hall, grinned, drooled a little and told me he sure did like my new glasses and that they made me look damn sexy.

Thank God for dirty old men.

No mention was made of the hair.

This Monday has gotten off to a rousing start.. but I'm in a surprisingly good mood. It's Bossman's mandatory week off, so I'm the sales ninja. I've got plenty to do but I'll be checking in on the innerwebs now and then.

Ya'll take this Monday by the cajones and make it your bitch. We'll talk more soon.

Later Taters!


Wildhair said...

My day always goes better when my hair turns out how I want it to. What's better is knowing my hair is superior to Blondezilla's rat's nest of mashed up funky colors and dullness.
Your GM sounds like a real charmer.

kenju said...

If I put a hood on, my hair will look like I slept in it - no matter how hard I've tried to make it look good. The wind wouldn't matter at all.

Evil Twin's Wife said...

Aqua Net makes a Super Extra Hold now. It doesn't hold as well as it used to (yes, I still use it!).

BetteJo said...

HATE hairspray on me! I hate it more when I have a style that demands it. UGH!!!!

Inanna said...

Monday bitch-slapped me.

Anonymous said...

Monday or Me, I'm not sure who grabbed first, but OWWWWWWW!