Murderous Thoughts, the FBI and Why I'm a Rock Star

In my attempt to be a kinder, more spiritually evolved being, I've been been making an attempt to be nicer to Bubbles. The fact that we now spend a grand total of three hours a day together has helped matters, but I don't mind telling you that when she started smacking that chewing gum yesterday afternoon, it took all the self control I could muster to keep from leaping over the cubicle wall, all silent and ninja-like, wrapping my chubby little fingers around her neck and choking the snot out of her.

Not that I have violent tendencies or anything.

And seriously? If you're only working six hours a day and the GM is watching every move you make, would you take a long break in the afternoon to go on a nature walk with the GM's secretary?


*Deep breath... exhale slowly... moving on*

Ya'll will be glad to know I de-clogged the backed up sink Sunday night. I only plunged for about a half an hour, alternating between each side, before the non-inbred part of my brain kicked in and I realized I needed to block off one side in order to do any good.

I'm slow.. but I do catch on eventually.

Afterwards, it dawned on me that the clog might be the reason the dishwasher leaked water all over the kitchen the other day, not a busted pipe. So I tried it and there was no leak.

So yeah.. I'm feeling like a Home Repair Rock Star right about now.

Did ya'll see where the FBI is filling a bunch of job positions? I was all over their website, praying that there was a field office over in Big City, but unfortunately the closest one is in Knoxville, with another in Charlotte.

Seriously.. I would have applied.

Do you ever watch "Criminal Minds?" You know the character Garcia? I'd love to be her. While it's true that I don't posses her haxor skizzles, I love digging up dirt on people on the web. Just ask the Lyin' Assed Canadian. If it's out there.. I'll find it. Oh yeah and like Garcia, I could go for a sexy man with twinkling eyes calling me "Babygirl" whenever he needed information... just sayin'.

Anywho.. it's almost time for my cud chewing co-worker Bubbles to come in. I'm going to go say a silent prayer for the strength to keep from slapping her upside the head with Desk Monkey find peace.

Ya'll have a good one.

Later Taters!