Friday, December 05, 2008

'Tis the Season in Frog Pond Holler

It's really Friday right? Finally? Has this week been like.. 9 days long?

It's holiday season here in Frog Pond Holler, time for the tacky, tinsel Christmas ornaments to go up in the middle of town, sticking the sad little tree in the vacant lot where Big K's car lot used to be and time for all the little country churches to start planning, practicing and screaming off key, making a not-quite-joyful noise unto the Lord with preparations for for their yearly Christmas Pageant.

Lawd have mercy on us all.

Bubbles has her britches in a wad already because the songs selected by her brothers and sisters in charge of the production up at the Lord's House of Gossip Tiny Church on the Hill don't meet with her approval. She's hollered and griped all morning to Thelma and Louise about how she just doesn't see how she'll be able to participate if they don't change it. She said she can't be a'caterwauling like a cat in heat with it's tail stuck in fence sing those high notes without squeaking and she'll just not participate if she doesn't get her way.

I don't know about you, but it sounds to me like the good brothers and sisters up at the Tiny Church on the Hill have a plan. I have heard Bubbles sing.

I'll be so thankful when it's all over with.

In the meantime, the Frog Pond Holler Christmas parade is this weekend and Louise has teamed up with Bubbles and Babs, the shipping ho, to form a company float.

By "float" I mean they're trying to get someone to drive them around in the back of their pick up truck so they can pelt innocent, unsuspecting children between the eyes with hard candy. They tried to get me to hang garland and bows on Jolene and be their chauffeur, but I gracefully bowed out (I think I actually said, "Oh, but hell no.")

The Amazon will be working during the parade, with the perfect position to watch the horses, fire trucks and three wheelers file by her window while she's inside, toasty and warm. I think I'll go down and keep her company. I'll try to get some pictures for ya'll.

I'm so glad it's finally Friday. Next week we go back to our 4 day weeks, so I'm looking forward to a 3 day weekend.

Ya'll stay warm and we'll talk again soon!

Later Taters!

6 comments:

Dianne said...

I can't stop laughing at the image of Bubbles assaulting poor children with hard candy pellets!!!

Bless you for not letting Jolene be used in that manner - she is far too dignified for that crap.

BetteJo said...

I'm going to have to try "Oh, but hell no." next time I need to bow out of something graciously. I've been doing it all wrong!

tiff said...

Sounds perfectly lovely.

Ahem. :)

Anonymous said...

At least in the holler you can still pelt the kids with candy. Here in my big city the po-po are afraid the youngens are gonna get run over ~ you have to actually hand them the candy so they are nice and safe.

Who ever heard of going to a parade and NOT being able to run out in the street for the goods;)

Nothin like a good parade and candy throw'n!

Me said...

Although we have the same holiday gatherings and issues you do... you seem to have a way of putting it all down to 'paper' that makes it all seem a lot more interesting than it is to uh, you know... actually live it. LOL.

Marissa said...

And the church lady singeth. ACK! "Today we have assembled our best warblers for your entertainment. Earplugs can be found at the end of each pew along with the music books."