Saturday, November 01, 2008

How A Hot, Single Woman...

...spends a weekend in Frog Pond Holler:


  1. Clean under the kitchen sink, in order to locate and remove a rotting rat carcass. The faint aroma of rodent death is hovering around my clean dishes. Ew.
  2. Disinfect the silverware drawer, where the previously mentioned furry critter left little poopie turds all over my spoons.
  3. Separate the ginormous packages of cheap meat I bought at the store last night in to smaller, meal sized freezer bags. It prevents leftovers. Ma and the Amazon always say they'll eat leftovers, but then never do and my creations of sheer culinary genius always end up getting green and fuzzy, then tossed out in the yard, down by Dubya's house.. cuz I'm a good neighbor like that.
  4. Find the salt shaker. Seriously.. I think the drunken garden gnomes must have broken in and taken it.
  5. Find recipes for 101 ways to prepare chicken leg and thigh portions. They were .58 a pound.
  6. Wash the hairless Boston Baked Beagle and his assorted blankies, distributed around the trailer.
  7. Finish writing my favorite "What Comes Around, Goes Around" story and begin working on the "Vampire Rats and Mountain Exploration" story for my latest literary project.
  8. Take a nap.
  9. Make a dollar store run. I forgot to get toilet paper last night.
  10. And the post office. It was like July 4th weekend in town last night when I went to the grocery store and there weren't any parking places... anywhere. Who knows, there might be a big fat check sitting in my P.O. Box.

I'm sure I won't get everything on the list done.. but that's the goal I'm shooting for. I hope this weekend finds all ya'll and your families with a roof over your head and food in your belly. If you have those two things, you can count yourselves among the blessed.

Later Taters!!

8 comments:

rennratt said...

Amen.

I have many of the same goals, with the exception of the rotting rat carcass and the post office trip.

We're off to Big Lots this morning.

Happy weekend to you!

Marissa said...

I love learning how the sexy people live. I have no rat carcass to seek out, but there is some serious furriness in my fridge.

You crap me up!

A Spot of T said...

Well then I consider myself lucky :o) Although not so lucky as I'm sitting here eating my lunch reading about dead stinky rats. Yuck.

BetteJo said...

I'm hoping that by "rat" you really mean "mouse". Cause if you have a rat roaming around in your silverware drawer - I think you better call someone!!!

Traci Dolan said...

Today is the first day of National Novel Writing Month or NaNoWriMo. You could do it!

Dorkys Ramos said...

Ugh, I JUST found where this nasty smell in my apartment is coming from. But I'm too grossed out to fish out a dead rat from my hallway closet...

kenju said...

You should write all the time!!

Melissa said...

That sounds like one of my weekends. Good thing I keep gallons of bleach around.