The day after Thanksgiving, the butt crack o' dawn and I hear a car door slamming, a car leaving, someone on the porch and a knock on the door.
I pulled the covers over my head and went back to dreaming about men in black eyeliner with foreign accents.
The house telephone rings, I hear mumbling followed by Ma doin' the hillbilly stomp-waddle through the trailer.
I know what's coming. I pull the blanket tighter around me, eyes squeezed shut.
The door squeaks open, then I hear, "BEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTYYYYYYYYYYYY BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPS!!!!"
Crap.
I'm really hating that my trashy big boobed cousin with the lazy eye moved back to the holler. Now, she drops her youngin off on my front porch every time she leaves her house.
Apparently, Trashy Big-Boobed has taken up drinking and the use of assorted illegal recreational substances. Her new man, Ed, who was 8 years ahead of Aunt Moses in high school, called Moses the other day and told her to come get her child, he couldn't handle her when she was all wild eyed and chemically altered. He told Moses to be sure she didn't bring her back either.
That was two days ago. I heard she's already replaced Ed.
Anywho, I need to get dressed and go to the bank. I have to run by Cletus' garage too, I need an inspection sticker for the truck, then I might run out to the other end of the county and get some of my fried and frayed hag hair chopped off.
Or.. I might go to the bank, come home and go back to bed.
Ya'll enjoy your Friday.
Later Taters!
4 comments:
Back to bed would be my choice.
At leat that child has someplace to go. Imagine if y'all weren't there.
If your going to the bank for money, bring it home and hide it in a book with LOTS of words.
Don't hide it in you purse, I swear thats the first place those no good trashy large breasted girls look.
They take all you cash and your good lipstick.
I am so glad that my nearest family member lives 400 miles away!
DG
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