Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Why God Made Earbuds

It's still entirely too warm here in Frog Pond Holler for October. I know.. I know.. in a few weeks I'll be bitching about boobsicles.. but for now it's hot.

There's still no air conditioning here at the Asylum and on top of that, OSHA showed up bright and early yesterday morning.. on a day when the GM, the Plant manager and PG all didn't come strolling in until 10 a.m.

This right here? Would be a great place for a factory.. don't ya think?

Anywho, we all had to unplug and stash our desk fans, so the tiny bit of relief we were getting from the mugginess is gone. The forecast for today is 83°.. which would be fine and dandy if you're outside where there's a breeze.. but in here under the fluorescent lights and nestled in beside the office equipment.. things are going to get hairy. I may have to go sit out in the truck and run the air conditioning at regular intervals.

I know.. that makes me an ecological asshat but dang.. I'm dealing with the impeding eruption of Mount Vesuvius and trying not to stab Bubbles in the forehead with a spork.

Oh.. I didn't tell ya'll her latest. Yesterday, my allergies were really kicking in and I had a slight earache, so I couldn't deal with the earbuds and was forced to listen to Bubbles on the phone with a customer:

"Up from our church, there's a Buddhist camp.. thing.. whatever you call it. They don't like when we have services because our church bails rang and it bothers thar quiet time. Wull I say tough for them, my Bible says make a joyful noise! Let them bails rang!!! WOOOOOO!!! AMEN!!! hahahahahahahha! AMEN!!! That's what they git fer not believing in God. I heered they run around up thar without no clothes on and wirship cow statues.. least that's wut our preacher says."

The fact that she's not running around with a fluorescent pink Hi-Lighter shoved up her left nostril is a testament to the fact that there's a special place in heaven waiting for me in the hereafter.

Anywho..

Hopefully the OSHA guy will finish up today and get the hell out of here so I can turn my fan back on. I hope he leaves soon.

Happy Humpday. Let's hump it with the cool sensation of a York's Peppermint Patty.

Ya'll have a good one.

Later Taters!

10 comments:

MJ said...

Blech. I hate OSHA visits.

Happy Wednesday.

Anonymous said...

What does OSHA have against fans? Working under ungodly conditions with ungodly coworkers is not a safety hazard but you little electric fan is? They must be nuts.

I taught a series of classes in a nursing home and the federal inspectors came in as I was leaving, and shut the place down. I guess they were too late calling for training.

DG

Mahala said...

They said we had to remove any two-pronged thingies other than adding machines. No fans, no radios. It's a crock of bs if you ask me.

Anonymous said...

Hope the OSHA people get done early so you can turn your fan back on! Loved the bit about the Buddhists! Hope you have a good day, despite the heat.

Significant Snail said...

If you ever do spork someone please take a picture for us!!

Anonymous said...

I'm glad you resisted the urge to stick it up her nose.

No decent highlighter deserves such a fate.


Happy Wednesday! frolic...

Aarin said...

uh i'd complain directly to osha about the lack of air conditioning. there are some people who cant be in the heat for various reasons. i was on a medicine for a while that said it raises your body temp and to stay out of anywhere over 80 something degrees. The people running your plant are creating a health hazard by not providing its workers with air conditioning AND forcing you to use fans to create a tolerable work environment which are against osha's rules.

i'd be all up on that inspector getting the 411 about how much your bosses could be fined for such a violation

tiff said...

Mmm, naked cow-worshipping buddhsits....

How does you say "ohm" with a southern accent, I wonder? :)

Mahala said...

"oooommmmm.. ya'll"

Traci Dolan said...

LMAO! "ooooommmmmmmmmm.. ya'll"