Friday, September 05, 2008

I'm a Whiney Hot Mama

I'm late getting here today, because this morning I had the bright idea to move my 5,239 pound desk. This is the same day that our air conditioning ran out of freon for the fifth time this year. It's 80° in the office and the humidity is 90%. So yeah, it's the perfect day to move things, knowing full well that any hard, physical labor on my part is going to generate unpleasant aromas, emitting from various bodily orifices.

These are the days when I wish I were a delicate flower, the type that can sit back, bat their eyes at the first penis wielding creature that walks down the hall and have them fulfill my every whim. For instance, a single drop of perspiration can form on Bubbles' brow (aw.. c'mon, you knew I was going there) and instantly, the menfolk appear, as if materializing from thin air, right in her cubicle. It's like that tiny bead of sweat gives off some kind of primal scent, calling them to action, to rush to her aid, lest the entire race come to a screeching halt, resulting in an end to mankind as we know it.

But me? I could be over here, lying in the floor with my desk toppled over on my chest, moaning and crying for help and I swear, I'd get written up for laying down on the job or disrupting others who are trying to work with my pesky whining.

At least it's Friday.. and it's almost lunch time. I can't wait to go home, change shirts (no seriously, I'm hummin' hard) and curl up with a cold drink in front of the air conditioner for an hour.

Ya'll have a kick ass day.

Later Taters!

9 comments:

poopie said...

I hear ya girl. When I pass out from taking on everybody else's load, they'll just step over my dead body.

tiff said...

Why, all this time, did I think that Bubble's was, um, puffy?

Or am I reading delicate flower the whole wrong way?

The problem is that once you've proven your'e capable, men can't save you and so you're not of interest. THey do love saving things.

Mahala said...

Bubbles is um.. puffy, but she is also oh so feckin' precious. I actually posted an actual photo of Bubbles a couple of weeks ago, in a fit of pissiness, but then got askeered and took it down.

MJ said...

Ugh. I'm probably the least "fluffy" girl in this office, but because of my independent nature, no "penis-wielding creature" will come to my aid either. They assume this hundred pound girl can carry something twice her size, I suppose....

MJ said...

Oh, and cheers dear. I'll have a drink for you this afternoon as well.

Anonymous said...

Well, I've waited ALL day for a [P-W C] to show up, and it looks like it's not happenin'.

Savior? moi? I dunno - I'll think about it.
Come to think of it, I DID offer to help. Maybe you're right.

Mahala, I'm glad to see that you're thinking of us a little differently. I'm not quite sure if it's better to be a P-WC or a Neanderthal. I'll think on this too :*)

No joking here - I hope all you gals have a great day.

Anonymous said...

I came onto my computer two weeks ago and just about spit my coffee out when I read there was a picture up of Bubbles. Then when I clicked on that post in my feed...poof! Gone. You big tease.

I'm going to agree with all the other commenters who said once you show men you can do things, they won't even bother any more. They're a weird breed those men are.

Kimberly McKay said...

U ABSOLUTELY ROCK MAHALA! I've worked with those types of girls who get every man within seconds away to do all their work, and I've not gotten along with them on principle. You...You I'd get along with!

BetteJo said...

I will admit to calling for help from penis-wielding creatures when it comes to bugs - thats all.

I really just wanted to say "penis-wielding". :)