Dear Merlin,
(yes, I'm aware that his name is so effin' cliche' among that segment of the population that enjoys dressing in period costume, speaking in pseudo European accents and having dragons tattooed on their left ass cheek. It's just a coincidence. I'm none of those things. Swear.)
I completely understand that if given a choice, you'd rather not spend your days alone and confined in a cage, regardless of how large and accommodating it may be. For this reason, I've tried to over look your growing attraction to the small vanity mirror I keep near the computer.
I have no problem with your obsessively sitting beside it, talking to what you perceive to be the glorious avian angel of your dreams. I've looked the other way when you've attempted to feed your imaginary lover, sharing your seeds, lining them up on the ledge of your cage. I've tried to be understanding when you've spewed your regurgitated offerings to her highness.
However, on the extremely rare occasion that I need to orchestrate the removal of the occasional chin hair, I'm going to need for you to allow me to remove the mirror without going in to psycho raptor mode. The extension of your wings in a style reminiscent of Elvis displaying his rhinestoned cape, complete with bowing head, accompanied by the loud screeching and stomping, is an over reaction. I always give the mirror right back.
Dude.. seriously.
It's not as if I've got a floor length, Nostradamus type beard to tend to. Just a chin hair.
Besides, I gave you a small "made for bird cages" mirror with a little perch and everything. But no, you've shunned that little goddess. The little bird in the small mirror you used to sit and chirp and coo too now sits all alone in the corner.
Have you no shame?
I'm glad we had this little talk. If you promise to stop making threatening gestures towards me, I promise to stop pretending to call KFC when you piss me off.
Love,
Mahala
6 comments:
I recall a story about a talking Parrot that was famous for his bad behavior. One day he was riding on his owners shoulder as they prepared dinner. Suddenly the bird started behaving very very well. The good behavior went on for several days and fiannly the owner ask the bird what had happened to change his behavior. the bird responded, oh nothing, but I do have a question, what did the chicken do?
DG
Shoulda named him Narcissus, eh?
Poor Merlin - he's just lonely - and has a great imagination, or so it seems.
Ah, the owner and the owned...guess which is which!!
Annette
DG: I've heard that story :)
tiff: I can see me trying to teach him to say that lol.
kenju: He is, I'd like to get him a mate, but he's about ten years old. What if I pick Mrs. Wrong? Or worse.. what if he IS a Mrs?
Annette: Oh there's no doubt, my animals totally rule the roost lol.
They say humans are attracted to people who have similar features to their own. Your birdie proves that is true even more so - in the bird world!
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