It happened one day last week, when I was cooking spaghetti. I had put a pot of water on the stove to boil then found myself, suddenly and without warning, answering a nature call of great urgency. While indisposed in the potty palace, I wasn't really worried about the pot of water. I knew it would take a while to reach boiling and the Amazon was sitting right there.
A few minutes passed (it was an extended visit) when I felt hurried stomping vibrating the floor. Then, the slamming of doors... some yelling.. more stomping.
I was gettin' worried ya'll.
As I emerged from the throne room, I saw the Amazon standing in the kitchen. The oven was open.. there was smoke. She glared at me with squinty eyes of anger.
"FIIIIIIIIIEEEE - UUUUUUUUURRRR. It was on FIIIIIIIEEEE - UUUUUUUURRRR!" she stated, repeatedly, with the crazed look of a woman teetering on the edge of sanity.
"I didn't have anything in the oven. Why was it on fire?"
"THE STOVE. IT WAS ON FIIIIIIIEEE - UUUUUURRRR!"
"Don't be silly. I was boiling water, how could it catch on fire? And why is the stove open? Were you slamming doors? What the hell happened?"
"FIIIIIIIEEEE - UUUUUUUURRRR!"
It took a while for me to sort out exactly what had happened. Apparently the stove eye had burst in to flames. I'm not sure how she put it out. There was a great flailing about of the arms as she stuttered and yelled and tried to explain.
Once she put the fire out (which, by the way, was ALL my fault.. she says) she decided to put the garlic bread in the oven. She tried to open the freezer to retrieve the garlic bread (yes it's frozen.. and it came from the dollar store.. deal with it) finding that the door seemed to be stuck. She jiggled the door, pulling it a little harder, but it still not opening. In what I imagine was a fit of unbridled frustration, she yanked the freezer open, breaking the door slat.. thingie.. sending 3 year old, low-fat, frozen turkey sausage, English muffin sandwiches flying across the kitchen.
It really pisses me off that I missed the whole thing.
The garlic bread finally did make it to the oven. We pieced the freezer door back together.. again.
Now when the Amazon and I are quietly watching television, she will look at me, completely out of the blue and yell, "FIIIIIIEEEEEE - UUUUUURRRRRRR. IT WAS ON FIIIIIIIEEEE - UUUUURRRRRR."
Someday she'll recover. Maybe.
Oh yeah and the Devil Grease????
Anywho, I hope that clears things up for ya'll. Tomorrow's Friday... it's almost over.
Later Taters!
8 comments:
I once or twice, started a stove top fire on an electric range with sugar, no oil or grease involved. She will recover.
DG
What's a stove eye?
So, you were trying to boil Vick's Vapo-rub when the fire started?
A stove eye is that round heating element on an electric stove. It's a carryover from the old cast iron stove days.
On a cast iron stove, there were several round removable plates on top that concentrated the heat. You can see one at this URL.
http://www.vogelzang.com/pb65xl.htm
Mahala,
If you were using an aluminum pan, the water had boiled away, and the eye was rusty, the heat can cause an "aluminothermic reaction" - essentially a welding process. It generates a whole lot of heat, even more heat than the burner can cause.
The reference to Devil Grease and the stove fire were completely unrelated incidents :)
Devil grease. Why did I think it had somethign to do with lube?
Our children. I don't know what to say. Yours makes me laugh.
Devil Grease??? LOL! Haven't heard that one before.
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