Move Along Folks, Nothing to See

It's lunchtime here in the holler, but I'm not at home. Oh.. I went home for lunch and found my trashy-big-boobed-lazy-eyed cousin's youngin frolicking about the house with wild abandon. Ma had a huge hunk of frozen mooburger in the frying pan and a pot of water on to boil.

"I'm fixin' spaghetti. I couldn't find nothin' else to feed this youngin."

I went to the bathroom because, that's where I seem to spend most of my free time these days, for reasons I will graciously spare you all. I went back to the living room, sat by my computer and checked my email, etc. Ma sat in the kitchen, staring at me from the right and little Lazy Eye junior sat on the couch to my left.. also staring.

I wanted to scream, "ARE MY TITS HANGIN' OUT???" but I fought it.

I've developed a slight sense of self control over my mouth as I've gotten older... but only slight.

I was able to endure for about ten minutes before I slipped my shoes back on and headed for the truck. My patience for crazy has worn thin the past few days.

"Where are you going???" Ma asked, as if shocked that I wouldn't want to spend my lunch hour having holes bored into my very soul by two sets of baby blues. I made up some excuse about needing something from the store and left.

I am this close to running away from home.

I know it's the heat, the hormones, the lonely, the dreams.. it's everything all at once and it's driving me mad. Sometimes I look around at the trailer, the truck, the God forsaken shit hole of a town and I honest to goodness can not figure out how the hell it happened.

How did this become my life?

I mean.. I know how it happened, I was here for it all but sometimes.. I just take a step back and I look at it all and I just can't believe it's me.


And this too shall pass.

I suppose.