We Scare Tourists for Sport

Aww hell ya'll. In the 1.5 miles between the Asylum and the trailer, I managed to nearly kill a couple of elderly Japanese tourists. At the very least, I caused an unscheduled colon cleansing for them both. They'll be needing a cleanup in their little Subaru. Which, by the way, had handicapped plates.

Never let it be said that I discriminate.

I guess I was driving a little fast, me and Jolene (my Silverado.. with the x-cab) barrelling down the little mountain road, heading for lunch. I guess I waited until the very last minute before applying the brake. Being unfamiliar with the area and feeling obligated to slow down for the railroad tracks, I can understand why Mr. Japanese Tourist would assume that I was going to plow into his little hatchback, crushing Mrs. Japanese Tourist into a little Asian pancake.

The best part? When Mr. Japanese Tourist did several repetitive little head bows in gratefulness that I didn't squish them both.

It made me feel kinda bad. I wasn't gonna run 'em over.

And it's only lunchtime.

16 comments:

terri said...

Head bows of gratefulness??? Instead of waving his middle finger? What a concept! Just think how much nicer America would be if we all followed his lead!

Mahala said...

I know right? Bless his heart, you could tell he was confused. If you don't know the area, you'd never expect there to be a road there. Here I was, barrelling down the road out of nowhere lol.

Rachel said...

I'm glad I waited until the end of the day to read this. Pee stained pants aren't very professional.


roflmao.....

Travel said...

Not to name anyone in particular (just in case Bert is reading but not posting,) but English drivers have this habit, trained into them to the point of reflex of saying "SORRY" and raising a polite little Queen like waive when the think they might have inconvienced another drive. Between that the RABBIT!!!! and TRACTOR!!!! warnings riding with a british driver can be quite entertaining. I can't wait to go back again!

DG

Dianne said...

I always slow down at the RR tracks - ever since a neighbor mentioned that the red light and the barrier arm don't always work.

I live in fear of being killed by the tailgating speeder behind me as I try to avoid the train.

Ironic ain't it

Mahala said...

rachel.. do we need to get you some peedalittle pads?

Aww DG.. I miss Bert *sniffle*

Dang Dianne, our arm thingies are known to come down unexpectantly, bouncing on the hood of your car. You're pretty much screwed if you get anywhere near the tracks lol.

camerakat said...

"Domo Arigato Miss Crazyhillbillysan"

poopie said...

Just wondering why Japanese tourists were cruising through the holler. You think they got bored with Disneyworld?

kenju said...

Unscheduled colon cleansing.dang. That's what I had today, except some meds caused it. LOL, sorry!
What on earth were those tourists doing in your neck of the woods?

Mahala said...

Frog Pond Holler is the home of hot mineral baths, supplied by underground springs. The "spa", where you can soak in hot tubs creekside or get a massage is the main tourist draw here, in addition to "the trail" and some white water rafting.

(The little Japanese couple was heading straight for the spa.)

Not too shabby for a town who's population hovers around 600 at it's summer peak huh?

:o)

Anonymous said...

Unscheduled colon cleansing!!!! LOL, you're the BEST, Mahala!! Polite heads bows...wish we saw more of that on the roads, instead of the usual "salute"...

babs said...

oh, how eveil and rural of you! i'm so proud!

please bring said silverado xcab over to the coast & squish all my northern brethern of the plus 70 set who insist on driving well below the posted limit AND stopping for no apparent reason right smack in the middle of the road.

thanks for the vent. i feel better now.

when ya coming? ;)

Mahala said...

I'll be right over after I get my stimulus check, so I can buy gas. Which coast are we talkin' about? I may have to whip out the gold card lol.

tiff said...

You did know the head bob is their way of cussing you out, right?

Mahala said...

LOL! nuh uh.

Joy T. said...

I wonder what head bobbing in Japanese means. ya. It's probably being greatful. Rrriiiight LOL