Wellness is Giving Me a Headache

Everyone at the Cubicle Asylum is on some military "lose 9 pounds in the first week" diet. They're all eating like.. a tablespoon of peanut butter for breakfast and a can of tuna for lunch. For supper they splurge and eat alfalfa sprouts and tree bark.. or something. Bubbles is only participating in the exercise portion, I reckon because she's on the Wellness Committee and feels it's her duty to herd them all out the door twice a day, chasing them around the building for a few laps.

"But Mahala," I hear you ask (or the voices have started again.. I'm not sure which) "who answers the phone and takes care of business as usual while everyone else is off galavanting around the building?"

Well dear readers, that would be Lulu and myself. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for being healthier and Lulu trudges up and down the hill twice a day (during her break) and hits the treadmill when she gets home. I'd just prefer to do my fitness waddling alone. If you ask me, this company is getting way too far up in people's personal bidness.

About a month ago, personnel asked us to fill out a "health questionaire" and offered $25 to everyone who completed it. They asked about medications, blood pressure, cholesterol, weight, etc. Most people filled it out. I refused. The HR manager acted shocked and a little indignant that I wouldn't comply. She told me I could really use the $25. I told her I felt it was really none of their business.

When I can, I usually take a couple of laps around the property at least once a day. I've been doing this for a long time, it clears my head and recharges my battery. Now, everyone in the plant has decided that it needs to be an organized, group activity.

I go walkin' to get away from them for a few minutes. I sure as heck don't want to hear them yammerin' about who didn't show up for church last night or who's youngin' got expelled yesterday when I'm trying to chill.

*sigh*

I saw a pack of those little tiny chocolate donuts out in the snack machine. Everyone else is on a diet and the vending company guy's family has to eat too. In an effort to do my part to prevent a recession, I think I'll go grab those little fudgy gems.

I'll see ya'll later.

If they don't form an angry mob and kill me.

12 comments:

Tori Lennox said...

Oh, I could go for some of those little chocolate donuts, too!

And I agree with you. It's none of their business about your medical history.

Dianne said...

don't worry - they can't form an angry mob - they're starving and they're winded

and I agree as well - none of their business!

I tip my doughnut to ya. :)

Anonymous said...

Yeah, personal fitness should be...well, PERSONAL!!!! Enjoy the gems..

Rachel said...

Ugh, I hate the diet police! Always trying to get you on their latest rice-cake steak slathered with bacon and butter but no bread kicks.

You keep right on eatin those donuts, me dear. A little defiance never hurt anyone!

Bah said...

Throw M&M's at them as the pass by.

Stupid health nuts.

Inanna said...

Leave a bowl of chocolate gravy out for them...

Jeni said...

Tell the HR person that your health and medicinal information is private and between only you and your doctor. And, unless the HR person is a med. dr., you will not have your information divulged -anywhere!

Same thing goes for the laps -if you want to do it as a group, a team of two or three or alone -it should make no never mind to anyone else how you go about that.

And, most decent diet plans will also tell you to allow for a little bit of indulging in your favorite treats everynow and again as that tend, so they say, to eliminate the potential of really binging out at some time and really losing what losses you'd made till then.

Are those chocolate donuts the dark chocolate? If so, it was revealed in a recent study that the dark chocolate is actually good for you! So there ya go!

erin said...

I cannot imagine anything less appealing than working out with those you work with. I don't really understand people's need to spend every single moment with their coworkers.

I also cannot imagine anything more appealing than a vending machine with chocolate donuts, I'm going to have to give the one at my work closer inspection!

terri said...

You are such a good samaritan to think of the vending machine guy's family like that. We all have to do our part!

Meritt said...

About a month ago, personnel asked us to fill out a "health questionaire" and offered $25 to everyone who completed it. They asked about medications, blood pressure, cholesterol, weight, etc. Most people filled it out. I refused. The HR manager acted shocked and a little indignant that I wouldn't comply. She told me I could really use the $25. I told her I felt it was really none of their business.

... GOOD FOR YOU!!! I WOULD HAVE DONE THE SAME THING!!!!!!!!!

BetteJo said...

We have a huge 'wellness' program where I work. If you have your blood work done and fill out a health questionaire and get your health evaluation along with suggestions - you get 10 bucks off your insurance every other week. Or some such thing. I did it 2 years ago but last year I didn't. Even though it's all supposed to be confidential and all that - it just seems too intrusive.

bobbie said...

Go for it, girl! Those chocolate donuts are the best. And try circling in the opposite direction from the mob.