Reality Check

Blessed Bovine Batman! It was 8° this morning.


When I let Yoda out for his morning tinkle and that first blast of cold hit him, he turned around and looked at me like I'd struck him with a boot. Poor, hairless Sammy wasn't even going to attempt it. He opted to crawl back in bed with Ma until lunchtime.

I worked like a plow horse all weekend, dusting, vacuuming, moving furniture. My house still isn't clean (it'll never be clean) but it's better than it was before I began. I had an episode of sorts while earning my domestic merit badge yesterday. I was watching "Real Houswives of Orange County," with their hookerlicious ho-nails, perky boobs and collagen pumped lips, as I crawled around on the trailer floor, on all fours, scrubbing various critter stains out of the carpet. Bravo was airing a marathon and on one of the episodes, one of the real housewives was having boob surgery. I don't know if she was having them enlarged, reduced, perked or primed. I'm not really a connoisseur of boobs, being a girl and all, but they looked fine to me to begin with. Her hubby was there "for support."

The Amazon walked in the room just in time to find me in the floor on my hands and knees, in front of the television, shaking the puppy tinkle, cat puke stained towel at the television, my voice raised, saying, "Look at you, that's sick. Is that what you men want? Us having surgery so that you can have your perfect little Stepford Wives, your own personal little Barbie doll? How many surgeries have YOU had? Hmmmm? She could DIE. It's SURGERY. Makes me sick."

I looked up and saw the look of concern/horror/amusement on the Amazon's face and realized that perhaps I'd been snorting carpet cleaning foam a little too long and it was time for a break.

I really need to start getting out more.

Anywho, Jeni at Down River Drivel has awarded me the "You Cheer Me Up" Award.
Don't you love the picture? I'm a huge fan of "I Love Lucy." I love getting awards, but I have a really hard time picking new recipients. All ya'll cheer me up every day and I sincerely mean that. So I'm going to break blog award tradition here and bestow this award upon all my friends in the blogosphere.

How's that for the chicken's way out?

Bawk Bawk!

Okies, enough chitter chatter. I should do some actual work. We don't want to get on Bossman's bad side. Ya'll have a great day and kick this Monday in the cajones.

Later Taters!