Nobody Peed in My Oatmeal, Exactly...

There's a nip in the air here in the holler this morning. It's a blustery, cloudy day, perfect for sleeping late. Unfortunately that wasn't an option.

I knew it was Monday when I staggered into the living room at the butt crack of dawn, picked up the remote control so that I could watch the morning news and became horrified at the realization that the foul smelling, cold liquid running down my arm was cat piss, dripping on to my robe and my freshly showered skin. How does a cat manage to pee IN the television remote and not get it on anything else?

After I tried to clean up the mess as best I could, soon accepting that nothing was going to help the remote and tossing it aside, I filled my thermos for work and placed a bowl of instant oatmeal in the microwave. The plan was to take the oatmeal to work with me so that I wouldn't be tempted to buy a big grease biscuit from the Grab n' Go (and go and go.) In the mean time, Ozzy was whining and barking outside, which he rarely does without cause, so I peeked out to see that he'd flipped his water bucket over. He does this when it's empty, because around our house there are so many critters, they have to learn to speak up at an early age if they want something. I slipped my shoes on and ran outside to take Ozzy some water, nearly sliding off the slick steps. Apparently it rained sometime last night. When I came back in, I noticed that the microwave was off, so I grabbed the lid for my bowl, noticing the time and deciding I'd better get it in gear if I was going to make it to the Asylum on time. Imagine my absolute fucking farking delight when I opened the door to find that oatmeal had exploded all over the interior of the oven, onto the glass plate, leaving about a tablespoon in the actual bowl.

The biscuit was yummy. I even scraped the melted cheese off the paper and ate it too.

Monday. Let's just get through it without killing anyone.

Later Taters!

Update: I almost forgot.. no wait.. I did forget, but I've had coffee now so I'm awake now.. anywho.. Hop on by and pay Bluez a visit for her spin on the "Things I'm Not" meme.