Bubbles' Hallucinations and Thelma Keeping it Stirred

Lord just let me get through this week, then I'm off until January 2nd.

I have been making a conscious effort to be more accepting of Bubbles' and trying to convince myself to let things go, but when those girly hormones kick in, it's just not possible. Sometimes it takes all the self control I can muster to keep from sticking my head across the cubicle wall and screaming "OH MY GAWD YOU'RE SUCH A TARD!!!"

Okay, I know those are harsh words and perhaps she doesn't deserve it, but when I'm sitting here working while waiting patiently for the Midol to kick in and she says, "Mahala? Do you smell that? It smells like.. moist shoe leather. Don't you smell it?"

"No, I don't."

"Oh my garsh no? I can SO smell moist shoe leather!"

It's always something obscure like, murky water with cinnamon or apple pie with blueberry yogurt. When she starts with "do you smell that?" it's usually followed shortly with:

"Oh my garsh!! Do you hear that??"

"No."

"It's like a rubber ball bouncing down steps, then rolling across the floor. Or maybe it's thunder."

We work in a manufacturing facility. You're liable to hear anything. This goes on all day long, especially if I'm really busy. She's like a five year old who doesn't feel she's getting enough attention and decides to just start making up shit stuff so someone will talk to her.

Bossman paid my office a visit this morning to inform me that Bubbles, Lulu and Purchasing Guy would be out the remainder of the week and I needed to assist Thelma in answering the phones. A day does not go by that I don't tell Thelma that I'd be more than happy to answer the phones, it's been difficult since Louise has been out for surgery. Thelma said she knew I'd help, but her boss was being a jerk and he'd mentioned it to Bossman. Lulu overheard the exchange and said that she'd gone into Thelma's office this morning just in time to hear her telling her boss that she was going to be alllll alone the next few days and she wasn't going to have anyone to help her with the phones.

Me being the office biatch that I am and on the verge of a hormonally charged rampage, I called Thelma's boss and gave him an ear reaming. I made absolutely certain that everyone involved understood that I have offered my assistance on a daily basis for months and that any statements made to the contrary were just blatant, childish attempts by certain employees to either get attention, feel superior or just basically keep crap stirred up, none of which would be tolerated by me.

Gawd.

I hate bullshit. It's so deep in this office sometimes that I'm tempted to show up in hip waders and a gas mask.