Saturday, November 03, 2007

WallyWorld, Mass Murder and Capital Flushing

Could it be? I went an entire week day without a SINGLE POST???? Has the earth been knocked off it's axis, causing the eventual end of existence as we know it?????

Okay so maybe I give myself just a tad bit more credit for the balance of the universe than I deserve. Just a tad.

I was off from the Asylum yesterday, so I took a day off from blogging as well. I know ya'll will find it in your hearts to forgive me. I went to Wallyworld and bought two new tires for my car. If you'll remember, it sat in the yard, in front of the trailer, with grass growing around it for nearly two years, in true redneck style. The front tires were pretty much bald when I parked it and I knew they were well on their way to being completely dry rotted. I've been driving on borrowed time. The knowledgeable young toothless wonder at Wally's garage deemed the back tires to be in "fair to middlin'" condition, hopefully they'll hold out for a little while longer.

I haven't been to Wallyworld in months, so I picked up some decongestant, some knee highs, some cough drops (someone please notify Halls that "ginger ale" is not an acceptable cough drop flavor,) and a headset for the computer. That last purchase was a result of caving in to peer pressure on Second Life to get on the "voice" bandwagon. I shouldn't have bought it, I hate my voice and will probably never use it. I'll be posting the details of that little experience on my Second Life blog later, if you're interested.

After leaving Wallyworld I stopped by the pet store and bought myself some guppies. I finally overcame the trauma caused by Diego the betta going on a murder spree, taking out all of his tank mates then dying himself. The mass murder-suicide has put me off bettas for a while. The lady at the store said they tend to do that when they get really old and that 3-4 years old was geriatric for a betta. I found this disturbing and bought two female guppies, one male and four neon tetras. May they go forth and perform their little fishy fornication and multiply, giving me beautiful fan tailed babies.

Yes, I know they eat their babies. I've got all the breeding gear left over from years ago. I'm prepared. There will be no more violence in my aquarium.

I'm thinking about taking my digital camera in the bathroom and snapping a picture of the toilet bowl as the water swirls down in mid flush, framing it and hanging it by the fish tank as a warning. Violence will not be tolerated and will result in capital flushing.

Anywho, the Amazon is at work (three days in a row!) and I'm running around the house half dressed. I may even dig out the old grass skirt, find an old "Magnum P.I." rerun and hula topless while sipping a diet coke (with umbrella.)

Ya'll enjoy your weekend.

5 comments:

poopie said...

You have the perfect life girl. I'm so envious :)

Jeni said...

Capital Flushing, huh? Do you think it will have any impact on them? BTW, how do they ever expect to keep their species going if they eat their young? I never understood that theory of certain segments of the animal life.

Anonymous said...

With some children, I understand eating the young!

The mental image of th hula dance is almost too much for me at this hour of the morning.

DG

Miz said...

I've taken to going commando myself, not by choice but by necessity...broken arm. To hard to get even the granny panties up with just my left arm.

Enjoy the breeze rustling though the grass!

Me said...

Wait... how did I miss the betta murder spree? And more importantly WHY DID YOU PUT A BETTA IN WITH OTHER FISH????????????????????

Ok - for the record; betta's are to be single for life. They are Japanese Fighting Fish and they are to be in a container by themselves. Always. Once in a very great while someone may get a retarded betta that doesn't kill off everything around him, but rarely. They are fiesty little bloodthirsty creatures who hate everything with a face.

If you get another Betta be sure to give him his only little bowl. This is why they are sold in those single little cups at the stores.