Superstars, Rumors and Gossip

I was checking to see who was going to be on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson this week and saw that it's going to be reruns. Dang is he on vacation again? I'd love to have his schedule.

Maybe I should have gone in to showbiz. Perhaps it's not too late, there is afterall a serious lack of plus sized role models for real America. There was Roseanne Barr (who the Amazon has compared me to in the past. I'm not sure how I feel about that) but she's doing like, children's videos now or something. We had Rosie O'Donnell, but I think she's peeved alot of people off, she seems so angry all the time now. I do miss her talk show, I never missed it when it aired. I don't know though, I'm not crazy about being the center of attention, so I'd probably suck at being a celebrity. I make a lifestyle of trying not to draw attention to myself.

So anyway, do ya'll think it's weird that Ferguson is gone on vacation the same time as Bubbles? Ya'll don't reckon there's anything to that do you? I mean, she never did say that Bubbahubby was going too, I just assumed that he was. Lord knows she had the chance to bring it up after she talked to him on the phone no less than 15 times yesterday. I swear, I expect to hear her say, "Did you wipe your butt? Do you need me to come do it for you? Could you wipe mine for me?" How do they stand it? Granted, I am not nor have I ever been married, but I can't imagine being that far up anyone's rear end twenty four hours a day.

I just realized something else.. my buddy Idgie is vacatin' this week too. Ya'll don't reckon they're all together do ya? I mean, Idg is taking her bovine buddy along so Bubbles should feel right at home. Oh my lawd, they all might be down on the beach havin' one of them menaj.. menog.. heck.. you know.. a threesome!!!

I think I'm going to go take a couple Tylenol PMs and try to shake the mental images I've allowed to materialize in my mind's eye. Ya'll enjoy the rest of your weekend.


Inanna said...

A traffic stop involving someone's granny becomes a meth lab bust where they had to call social services to come get six youngins who were all in diapers and were being fed corn liquor in their baby bottles. Classic! Nate got a big kick out of that one. I want a small nose piercing.

Anonymous said...

Maybe you should try stand-up, you oculd end up with your own talk show, the Mahala Hour.

Stay cool,