Ferguson, Connivers and Cutie Patooties

Oh my Lord people... the Cubicle Asylum is living up to it's name today in a big way. Conniving shipping clerks entering in to cahoots with Thelma, playing me and Bossman against each other... Jaysus.. someone get Springer on the phone.

Nothing screws up your day faster than an office full of conniving cahooters.

Moving on... but only until I get back to work, when I'll be promptly dealing with entire Romper Room inspired bunch and single handedly re-establishing order in the asylum.

Craig Ferguson has created an email campaign to gain his U.S. citizenship, one town at a time. I've toyed with the idea of contacting the mayor of Frog Pond Holler and asking him to give the Fergberger the key to the city, but I think there might be a few problems with the idea:
  1. I'm pretty sure the only key we have is to the town garbage truck and if he takes that, Frog Pond Holler is going to get pretty dang stinky quick.
  2. The mayor is the only attractive man in town, the cutie patootie paramedic that occasionally jogs down my road. I can't let him know that my secret affections lie with another.
  3. It's a safe bet that I'm the only one in this town who knows who Craig Ferguson is, which isn't that bad considering the population is only around 500. I haven't even found anyone else in town who saw the Sopranos ending, or any of the series for that matter.
  4. My request would most definitely be brought before the town council which is made up of a handful of elderly busy bodies (mostly men, they're the worst gossips) and after they publicly questioned my intentions and denied my request, they would tell their wives and before you know it, it would be all over the diner (the information hub of Frog Pond Holler) and my reputation in town for being "not quite right" would be firmly cemented for eternity.


It's the thought that counts?

Anywho, I have to get back to the nuthouse. Ya'll be blessed.


Kim said...

Hang in there Girl!

Mahala said...

Thanks kim :) I'd like to hang someone lol.

Anonymous said...

Arkansas watches the Late Late Show! I'm hooked because of you, Mahala :)

laura said...

"keys to the garbage truck"

Oh, Lawsy ... I think I herniated a disc laughing ...

Mahala said...

Nah.. you're hooked cuz he's good :)

Gawd laura, don't hurt yerself!!!