Karma, Bubbles and Hippy Van Trauma

Sorry for no post last night ya'll. I've been a victim of intestinal warfare combined with a full-fledged FMF attack, allergies gone totally haywire and a dose of the feminine curse. Factor in the slow demise of the air conditioning at the office and well... all I could do last night after pecking out a tiny sponsored post was lay down.

I've not been a pleasant person to be around.

I feel much better today, not "puuuuuuuuuuuuurfikt" (as Bubbles would say) but much better. I may actually live.

The door on the van is being a pain in my left cheek again. I swear I'm going to dislocate something major trying to get it shut. I was leaving work the other evening, struggling to get it to closed, slamming it repeatedly, feeling like crap and on the verge of tears from the embarrassment of it all, when I glanced in my rear view mirror just in time to see Bubbles walking to her gigantic SUV, giggling at my failed attempts to close the door.

That's cold up as a mofo.

At first my feelings were mushed like fresh frog roadkill, but after a moment or so I just took a deep breath and repeated the comforting words that I always turn to: What comes 'round goes 'round. Or as Oprah once put it: Let go and let God. Lulu says it's scary when I speak those words and compares it to a gypsy curse, ever since the time my aunt ran out and bought the used car she knew I was trying to get a loan to buy. I was really upset when it happened, but I thought about it and calmed down, then announced to a kitchen table surrounded by myself, Ma and two of my aunts, "What comes 'round goes 'round."

A week later my cousin drove the car down to her job with the paving company. It was the only time she ever drove it to work. They had to pack explosives in to the side of a mountain to move some earth but something went wrong and the rocks blew out instead of caving in. A huge boulder landed through the roof of the car, right in the drivers seat. It was totaled. Certain family members have called me a witch ever since.

Ya'll may notice that I moved one of my sponsor buttons up to the top of my sidebar. I got an email from Torrid.com yesterday. They're having a killer sale, 50% off already marked down clearance items through Memorial Day. Torrid specializes in plus sized clothes, so if you're built more like a fertility goddess than a Barbie, you might want to check them out. If you do, use the button in my sidebar and I'll make a little moolah too.

So I'm watching Craig Ferguson this morning and he announces that he'd been to the orthodontist and needed implants.. in his mouth. Say wut? I have no idea what that is and I'd Google it but I really don't need to know what he's having done in there. It can't be pleasant. Bless his heart. He'll have to stock up on pudding cups and Jello for a while.

Anywho, I'd best get my hiney in gear and get some work done. It's almost Friday, ya'll hang in there.