It's All Good

First let me say that I'm touched by ya'lls emails and comments in the past few days. Let me assure you that everything is fine and dandy. A phone call from a fellow blogger set me straight, showed me the error of my ways and pointed out that you really can not talk about psychos on the loose then just not say anything for a while. I hadn't really considered that.

So here's a quick "I'm blogging from the assylum" version of what's been going on:

From The Cubicle Assylum: I haven't killed Bubbles yet. I have however, considered it when she takes a notion to pelt me with projectile paperclips while I'm on the phone with a customer, then giggle sadistically like it's the funniest damned thing she's seen in her life.

The feud between "that" side of the hall and "this" side continues. There have been air freshener wars in the bathroom, the never ending battle of the thermostat and catty little remarks made by all. It used to cause me stress, now it's reached a point where it's almost comical. They hung one of those cake things in the toilet in the ladies room, which is basically a closet with a toilet and a sink (small space), then they hung those air fresheners on a string from the paper dispenser and repeatedly doused the place with some friggen fru-fru peach blossom shit crap. You could smell the bathroom when you came in the front door. I mean.. it made your eyes water.

From Frog Pond Holler: Last week they erected our brand spankin' new cellphone tower. Service can be had "clear out to the country." That is.. for everyone but ME. My phone doesn't work.. I'm gonna have to break down and go with Verizon I think. They do, afterall, have that spiffy Chocolate phone (now available in White Chocolate!) I checked wirefly.com and they've got the phone for $79.00, as opposed to getting it directly from the Verizon site for $120.00. I'm thinking maybe that will be my birthday/Christmas present to myself.

As for Psycho Wendel, nothing else has been heard from him or about him since he was last spotted in town. I'm pretty sure that whole situation has finally fizzled out and I can rest a bit easier.

On The Home Front: Let's see.. In the past week my hamster died (a moment of silence please), I've had a bout of the screaming shits poots accompanied by a fever and general crankiness, my cousin (the middle son of Uncle Mullett) was admitted for psychiatric evaluation after attempting suicide via a bottle of sleeping pills, my television no longer works when it rains and something fell off of the dishwasher, which I located but can't figure out where it came from.

Everything is normal.

Because of the situation with the television (something's wonky with the Directv dish AGAIN) I missed recording Craig Ferguson last night and was forced to watch recordings from earlier in the week. I couldn't even watch the news.. the set still hadn't come back to life this morning. So for the second time in a few days, I was witness to a replay of "The Sketch of Shame" in which the Ferburger dons an outfit reminicent of Flashdance and a wig which makes him look frighteningly similar to shock jock Howard Stern. He then proceeds to dance on his tippy toes, prancing quite fabulously and ending it with a splash of water, just like in the movie.

It's beautiful man. Brings a tear to my eye.

So that's the quickie version of what's been goin on 'round these parts. I promise I won't leave ya hanging that long again.

Ya'll forgive me right?