The Holler Was A'Buzz

This morning I woke up the first time to the faint sound of my radio (I can't sleep in total silence, city girl ya know), reasoned that they probably cancelled the scheduled power outage and went back to sleep. When I woke up again I heard a dull distant hum. It was a buzzing sound and seemed to be getting closer.

It sounded like a giant marital aide, of the vibrating variety, had landed somewhere on the other side of the mountain. Oh holy hell... Frog Pond Holler was being invaded!! I could picture it, clear as day in my mind's eye, a huge pink ship of unknown celestial origin, casting it's phallically shaped shadow over the entire town as it landed between the two rounded peaks which stand across the holler.

I staggered down the hall, knees clasped together, still not fully awake and opened the front door. I couldn't see it, but I could hear it. As I peeked out I heard what sounded like another one, coming from the direction of the diner. They must be sending out smaller vessels to scout the area. If they were looking for a little earthly poontang, the diner was the place to go. From what I've heard about the owner's sorted past, she'd gladly share the wealth.. if you know what I mean.

I tried to shake off the mental fog. I needed coffee, this was an emergency. I backed slowly away from the door, closed it and locked it (like my standard trailer issue door locks would stop horny space invaders.) I started towards the kitchen, then I remembered, vaguely, that there was some reason I couldn't make coffee this morning. I glanced at the DVR, the little lights were off. I looked up, the ceiling fan was standing still.

OH YEAH!!! No electricity today. The sounds I heard were the more affluent residents of Frog Pond Holler cranking up their generators.

Silly me! *snort*

I spent most of the day sitting on the couch with a brown grocery bag between my knees, stringing and breaking beans and tossing them into the big stew pot I had sitting in the middle of the living room floor.

You might be a redneck...

I ventured out around two o'clock when I decided that if I broke one more damned bean I may need to hitch a ride to the nervous hospital for a short stay. The grocery bag was full. It was a lot of flippen beans. I drove through town and down the river. I saw several families cooking out, some were just out riding around, there were some girls riding horses down by the river. There were more people than usual just sitting out on their front porches talking to their neighbors. It was kind of nice actually. As I made my way back towards the house, I noticed some people coming out of the campground store. I stopped and went inside, they were open for business. I grabbed Ma some Cokes, she'd been griping about the ones in the fridge getting warm. I walked up to the counter, sat the drinks down then had a thought.

"I don't suppose you'd happen to have some coffee made would you?" I asked.

"Why yeah, there's a pot full over there. I was fixin' to pour it out since it's so late in the day."

And I swear to you, this is no exaggeration. I did a happy-happy-joy-joy dance right there in the campground store. I believe I may have even let out an exuberant "WEEEEEEEEE!!!"

They had the power back on at five thirty. Now I've got chicken breasts baking in the oven, peas and carrots and some instant mashed taters in the microwave. Yes I know, the epitome of laziness, not JUST instant, but instant being nuked.

The beans are broken and strung in a pot in the fridge. I hope they'll keep there until tomorrow when I can go pick up some freezer bags. The dollar store is closed today. I'll wash 'em good when I get home tomorrow night and get them ready for the freezer.

Here's praying for a better work week than the last one, for all of us. There's always room for improvement.

Later Taters :)