The Anti-Post or... Not Bigfoot, Craig Ferguson and 9/11

The front page of this week's county paper was all about Bigfoot. Apparently there's a family way back up yonder in the mountains who have had repeated "experiences" with something up there. There have been ongoing investigations. It's gone beyond entertaining to just a wee bit on the creepy side for me. It's a little too close for comfort.

I have a laundry list of topics I was going to post about this evening, none of which I followed through on. So, for lack of a better idea, here are all the ideas I had, yet decided to scrap:

1. I was going to write a long in-depth post about why I chose not to write anything about the 9/11 anniversary, but then I decided that would be the same as writing about it, then it all seemed very redundant and boring plus I was concerned people might take it the wrong way.

2. I began a rambling, angry rant about today's office goings on, but after dealing with it all day, the last thing I really felt like doing was dealing with it all over again after I got home.

3. In reference to something said during Craig Ferguson's monologue this morning/last night, I was going to write about some line dancing border collies and their owners, which were featured on an episode of Tartan TV (check your local PBS listings) over the weekend, but I was afraid I was going to sound argumentative and Lord knows I didn't want to start another internet brouhaha by sounding as if I were being disagreeable, when all I really intended was a bit of humor.

4. The phone conversation between the Amazon and myself during the announcement of the winner of this year's "Rockstar: Supernova" season. We were both irked by the outcome, yet the conversation was priceless. I tried to recreate it but found myself unable to transfer all of the Amazon's "Like.. OHMAGAWD.." rants into type in such a way that made sense. The conversation lead to my noticing a woman close to my own age in the audience, my commenting that she needed to be at home on the couch with the rest of us old fogeys, the Amazon speculating that maybe she'd won the contest which we'd entered (explaining why she was there), then reminding me of the master plan we'd concocted while watching the show over the summer, that we'd carry out if we won. The plan included my sneaking into the studio where The Late Late Show is taped, something about scaling walls in a cat suit (you'd have to see my physique to really get the humor in that), the outline of my shadowed form sneaking behind the screen that stands behind the hosts desk, not realizing I could be seen. There was some comment about being bailed out of jail, having been arrested while trying to waller my fat ass butt over a four foot chainlink fence and getting my big girl stretchy pants stuck on the wire.

But then, it just wasn't as funny when I started writing it and I worried that it would somehow get back to someone at CBS and ultimately Fergburger himself and possible frighten the poor guy causing him to have nightmares about rubinesque stalkers in ill-fitting cat suits around every corner.

So I scrapped that idea.

5. Joley Fisher appearing on the previously mentioned talk show last night/this morning with.... and there's really not a tactful way to say this.... her tits hanging out. But I decided that would be in poor taste and just a tad bit catty.. so I decided not to post it. (Girl, I KNOW you can afford a whole blouse. Put some damned clothes on. Good Gawd. Ain't no damned sense in that!)

6. How Bubbles has determined that all the sudden Bigfoot interest around town was actually caused by my parading through the house in various stages of undress while searching for a slotted spoon (See post titled "The Swabs...They Mock Me") and unknowingly passing by an open window.

7. Why Lulu has started repeating the phrase, "Den mother, you frighten me," around the office when I show her the wonders of the internet.

So there you have it. The blog posts that almost were, but didn't quite make it.

Or did they?

Happy humpday :)