These Dreams....

I had one of my weird dreams last night. I used to keep them all in a journal, but this will work too.

I don't know where it took place. It was completely unfamiliar. There was a large building, brick I think. It was situated almost as if it were sitting in the middle of the road. Sort of like when you're driving along and the road you're on splits to go around a building, rejoining back on the other side? It's hard to explain, especially since I never saw the building from the front, only from the right hand side as I was exiting. There was a sort of courtyard in front of the building, surrounded by black metal post fencing. Inside the fenced in area, it seems like there was a fountain...or something. I remember seeing several (three or four?) white horses, rearing with their mane's flowing back, but I think it was a statue of horses. I remember that there was quite a bit of traffic on the road surrounding the property.

I saw some of the inside of the building, from the side. Glass doors I think? Inside was sort of like a hotel lobby, but I'm not sure that's what it was. It could have been an office building like they used to have in downtown areas, where there were small shops in the lobby. For some reason I'm thinking there was a stand or something where you could buy newspapers. Maybe an apartment building. Again, I'm not sure. I do specifically remember that it had tile floors, no carpet. I don't remember ever seeing this place before.

Across the road there was a junky looking store, maybe a thrift shop or something. A man came out, he did look familiar. It's taken me all day to figure out who he was. He's on one of those decorating shows, Trading Spaces, the American version I think. Older, white haired with a beard and a bit pudgy. It was really his voice which was familiar. I haven't watched that show in years, I have NO clue why the heck this guy would be in my dream. He motioned for me to come in the store, which I did. He wanted to show me this baby buggy.

When I was a little girl, Ma used to let me push the old buggy around that she'd had when I was a baby. I'd go up and down the sidewalk on our block with my babydolls and stuffed animals, and occasionally the cat in tow. It was huge, navy blue with a cover on one end to shield the baby's head from the sun, which folded down when not in use. The body of it sat on springs, which attached to the wheel structure and was removable to use as a bassinet. I haven't thought of that thing in forever.

This man was showing me this buggy, trying for the life of him to convince me that it was the same one we'd had when I was little. He was pointing out small elements in it's design, things I vividly remember. Then, he'd tip it forward and show me that the mattress inside was covered with a blue sheet and say, "But it's empty." He kept trying to get me to take it.

Eventually I left and went walking through the street, weaving around the other pedestrians. It seems that part of the road or sidewalk was brick as well? Strange. I can remember the feel of the bricks beneath my feet. Then, out of nowhere, the man from the shop re-appears. He tips the buggy forward and says it again, "It's empty." By now I'm getting annoyed with this guy, but at the same time, I'm wanting to believe it's the same buggy.

Am I suffering from empty nest syndrome? Has my biological clock blown a fuse? I know it's not that I'm pregnant. I haven't been "exposed" to the cause of that little disorder in an embarrassingly long time. I mean, I've not been thinking about babies or pregnancy or longing for another child at this stage in my life. That's sure what it seems like though. It's REALLY odd that I'd see that old buggy so vividly. I know it's been a good 30 years at least since I've seen it.

And what of the place? It's unusual to dream of a location completely foreign. Even if a place looks different in a dream, there's a "sense" of knowing where it's supposed to be. This had none of that.

I have no clue. I know that as I looked inside the buggy, there was a sense of loss. That the sheet was blue, leads me to think of a little boy.

Sometimes a dream is just a dream. Maybe that's all this was, but it's haunted me all day.