Oh let's jump right in with both feet shall we?
If that skanky, hookerfied hoochiemama from across the street wakes me up at 1a.m. again with her mufflerless car, there's gonna be a cat fight in Frog Pond Holler. The only thing that stopped me from going out the door last night was my inability to find my robe in time. I came within seconds of flying out the door in all my fabulous, floppy, sagging glory. That's right, butt nekkid. I probably should have gone ahead and went out there. The mental scarring that the sight of me in the buff alone would have caused may have been worth it.
Sitting at the edge of my driveway with that damned thing ROARING like a mofo in the middle of the night talking to some meth head on a bicycle. She must like living dangerously.
Then I get to work this morning, turn my computer on, go around to my desk and turn the monitor on and.... nothing. Nada. Not a freakin' peep.
Oh holy hell what now?
The little Cuban feller who does the mowing and cleaning has unplugged it before so he could plug his vaccum cleaner up, neglecting to replace it when he got done. So, I taped a "Do Not Touch" note to it. He continued to unplug it every morning, eventually saying he couldn't read the note, "My English, she not so good, you know?"
Oh bullcrap, he's been in this country for almost 20 years. I know he knew what "Do Not Touch" meant. Hell, if you went to unplug something with a note taped to it, even if you couldn't read what it said, wouldn't you ASK someone before you went ripping it out of the wall?
So this morning, I look at the plug and it's in the wall, but my note is gone. I start investigating and find that the little *&()^&*$%*&* had crawled under my desk and unplugged everything from the extention cord!!!
There's nothing quite like beginning your day by crawling around in the floor under your desk with your hind end hiked up in the air like a cat in heat, all before your first cup of coffee.
I'll just leave ya'll with that visual :)
4 comments:
omgaww dolphie, i can so relate to the frustrations pre-coffee. But not to that crack whore floozy next door! We'll have to come up with a plan to sit that one down.
btw thanks for the RSS info! I'm fixin to email ya, swear! lol and no blue hasn't updated me, except for the addy and the vegas trip *snicker*
Is it bad of me to immediately start to think of ways of 'getting back at' him for you????
Ohhhhh Winnie its a doozy don't cha know...I will forward the email.
Dolphie, what really sucks pluggin stuff in under your desk is the crap you find under there, whats worse is trying to get back up without slammin yer head on the desk.
Scarred by the vision. Just the thought of it.
DG
Post a Comment