The Cubicle Asylum: The Plot Thickens Like a Pot of Hasenpfeffer

Wednesday morning began with the announcement of a meeting by Twatwaffle.

Speculation ran like wildfire through the office. There were already rumors being passed around (by me mostly) of an unscheduled inventory on May 1st. Thelma had let it slip when we were discussing who would do what to keep her job covered while she was on vacation in Colorado. We normally do inventory every October. 

Something was up.

We all filed in to the break room and took our seats while TW made her announcements in her exagerated executive hickified accent.

"I am 98% sure that The Germans are ready to make a substantial financial investment in us. Therefore, tomorrow morning we will be having company here to inspect the property and tomorrow afternoon there will be people from the state here. As you all know, if you were ready to invest a substantial amount of money in a business, you want to know that they have what they say they do."

She also said she'd been "up to her knees and elbows in due dilligence for months."

I'm still trying to translate that last bit.

On Tuesday, after everyone else had left, she went around the office counting phone jacks and making a list. 

One of the welders flat out asked if we were being bought. She raised her voice and changed the subject, talking over him.

Another asked if a "substantial financial investment means we'll get a raise.. finally?" To which she again, raised her voice, changing the subject.

Personally, I don't care what they do. I'm good either way. If they come in and fire us all, I'll cash in that 401K, pay off the house and ride my unemployment for a while. If they keep us, I imagine I'll tow the line a little bit longer. 

We'll just have to see what happens.

Now I gotta go sell those Robot Monkeys. No rest for the Sales Ninja!

Ya'll have a good one, we'll talk again soon.

Later Taters!


Travel said...

It will all be okay, it will all be okay, been there done that once, in the end it was the second best thing that has ever happened in my working life.

tiff said...

You're being bought. It will be fine. You have a plan!

But, such intrigue!

rennratt said...

I look forward to the next installment of Robot Monkey Warehouse.

I'm hoping it's a marathon. :)

I'm with Tiff regarding the "It will be fine" thoughts. I really hope that the upper snots get their due, though. REALLY hoping.

Celia said...

It will be okay, my thoughts exactly. Somewhere there must be a school giving training on how to torment the grunts. Of course you're being bought, you knew.

kenju said...

Whatever happens, I hope it turns out for the best - for you!

poopie said...

i lived it and survived...peace be with you my child ;)