Friday, January 02, 2015

Still Here

It's 8:09 a.m. in the holler, the second day of 2015. The Cubicle Asylum is pretty quiet, no managers have showed their faces yet.

It must be nice.

But anywho...

Let's do a massive update of all things Frog Pond Holler, shall we? I'll wait while you go grab yourself a cup of coffee.. or a bottle of beer or whatever. You'll prolly wanna get a few snacks too, we're going to be here a while.

We'll begin with The Cubicle Asylum, where Twatwaffle reigns in fits of Bipolar mania, every single employee is looking for another job, sales are up and the effit attitude is so thick it hangs in the air.

After 19 years here, I finally got an office. I moved in to the sales manager's space, I do the sales manager's job, I have 99% of the sales manager's responsiblities... but I still make $12 an hour. I've just accepted it, because honestly, it's just easier. I also still do all the clerical sales stuff. I am a one woman sales department. The only thing that keeps me sane is knowing that if I got fired tomorrow, I could cash in my 401K, pay off my house and get a job bagging groceries somewhere and make it just fine. Knowing that when Twatwaffle has one of her barking fits I can calmly look her in the eye and say, "I can just go the house and you can learn to do all this yourself," gives me a wealth of peace.

One the plus side, with an office I can listen to loud headbanging music between phone calls, which helps me zone out and avoid The Groper.

Back on the homestead, the bunnies are fat and sassy, still living on the porch while I work on converting what's left of the old stone can house in to proper bunny accomodations. They'll have a concrete floor, protection from bunny munching predators and room to run and binky to their hearts content. My great great grandfather built the old can house in to the embankment out of stacked rocks. It had a cute little cottage door and arched stones under the eaves. IT WAS FARKIN ADORABLE. A while back, I came home for lunch on a pretty spring day and our neighbor, Dubya, had his little Bearcat backhoe thingie tearing the can house down, under Ma's instruction. All that was left was the back and three sides. I stopped the destruction, cried a bit and threatened to kill anyone else that touched it.

It still pisses me off and Dubya's been dead for some years.

I'm not planning to build it back from stone, but I'll figure something out. Not sure how to do the roof, it needs to be cheap and easy. I'll post pictures soon and some of you more constructiony types can advise.

Another project in the works is the construction of a back stoop, porch, deck.. something. Our steps have come apart. I can't just replace them because Dubya also buried the bottom two steps in mud, so there will be digging involved. I'm currently scavenging pallets from work for cheap construction.

I am not handy. I try, but seriously, that's going to be some lopsided shit right there. There will be photos.

Other stuff around the house:

  •  I'm trying to save up for a wood stove. I have $50 so far. It's not going well.
  • We're still hauling accumulated junk to the dump. There are mystery jars in the cabinet. I suspect molasses. Pretty sure those jars will just get tossed. I'm not washing that.
  • Raised beds are going in.
  • Now that the wigglies are hibernating (it finally got cold enough) we'll be clearing roughly 1/4 acre of English Ivy that took over a steep embankment. I'm sure injuries will ensue. 
  • I built a loom from an old picture frame. Because I needed something else to do. Apparently.
In addition to all that, I've acquired stock and a web address for the latest venture (because there's always a business venture) for Mojo-Rising.com. I'll have Tarot cards, spell candles, smudge sticks, gifty bits and I'm adding a few handmade things as well. I'll be including my special nail oil, Little Bunny Poo-Poo and a new product. Moe Joe the voodoo doll (for entertainment purposes only. If you accidentally set him on fire while chanting your ex's name and your ex dies in a mysterious fire, I will not accept responsibility.)

The plan, as of today, because it changes constantly, is to hang in there at The Asylum until I pay the house off, which will take about another four years. During that time, I'll be building my online business and working toward establishing a bit of an urban homestead. Eventually I'd like two pygmy goats for land clearing, two Babydoll sheep for grass mowing, a garden, a sink for laundry (I currently use a Sterlite tub and a plunger. Don't ask,) and a wood stove. I have shit tons of wood laying around my property.

Anywho, that's all the updates I have time for today. I'm not going to promise regular posts, but I'm going to try like hell.

In the meantime, ya'll have a peachy freakin' keen weekend and we'll talk again soon.

Later Taters!

7 comments:

tiff said...

You are seriously underpaid, but of course you already knew that. Oh, I want to be a fly on the wall when you finally DO tell TW to kiss your ass.

Looking forward to hearing more and more about life in the Holler!

poopie said...

welcome back!

Unknown said...

So glad you're back! Regular posts or not, you make my day!

Significant Snail said...

You're back! I've been worrying, praying, chanting etc - glad to hear you are still kicking. Speaking of kicking, I too can't wait for the day you can kick some a** -ninja style- at the asylum as you walk out the door. Lots of good projects in the works so I can't wait to see pics.

Happy New Year!

kenju said...

What Tiff and Poopie said!!

Melissa said...

I'm so glad you are back! Happy New Year!

Travel said...

It is so wonderful to get an update on what is happening. We missed you. There is still a vibrant blogger community and we miss your talent - and writing is effective therapy for many. The bunny hutch sounds like an opportunity for some recycled windows, and some translucent corrugated fiberglass panels. If the space is small, they don't take much to support.