Pallet Porches and Shetland Sheep

 This post is being brought to you by Open Office, because the interwebbs is being a jerkhole.

I've checked all the lines, jiggled the doodads and taken a chainsaw to the nature that has invaded the power/phone lines. After that last bit, I came in to find Hulu working, sat down with a cup of coffee, feeling quite satisfied with myself, and made it as far as the opening credits of Modern Family before it all went to hell.

I reset the modem, wait for all the little blinkie lights to go green, turn on anything webby related and it's gone. I ran in to Aunt Moses down at the Pump and Go earlier. She said the connection was borked to hell up at the elementary school too.

I have also burned candles, chanted, prayed, begged and even considered making my way to the nearest crossroads for a little wheel and deal, but nothing.

Anywho, I'm hoping I can finagle enough of a connection to upload this post. If not, I'll have to thumb drive it to The Asylum Monday morning.

I will not be out done.

Enough whining about technology, or the lack there of, in the holler. On to other things...

I called in at work Thursday. My shower was frozen and I while I suppose I could have taken a sink bath, I didn't feel like dealing with it. Also, I'm ashamed to admit this but.. Twatwaffle called me in the office about a month ago to tell me I smelled like dog. So.. I'm not going to work if I'm not shower fresh.

I don't think I really smelled like dog. Lulu said TW was just trying to bring me down a peg or two, because orders were through the roof and I'd proven her wrong on so many levels. I dunno. I can't imagine I was walking around smelling like I'd rolled in nastiness without knowing it. But anywho, I took a vacation day. When I came back on Friday, my phone mailbox was full and I had 130 emails. TW was all, “Let's get through those phone messages and catch up those emails!”


I told her that if I couldn't take a day off when needed without everything going to hell, that was a sign that maybe she needed to hire some help. I informed her that our customer service sucks, through no fault of mine and that we were losing sales every day by my inability to take care of all the phone calls and messages.

Her response?

“I know. I feel you guuurl. I was here til 8 o'clock last night.”

Then she went on her merry way. I swear to all that's Holy, she must have been dropped on her head as a small child, dribbled around the yard and tossed at the trash can for a three pointer.

When I get really frustrated at work, when I think I can't take one more day, I start looking for another job online. Eventually I calm down, remind myself that while my measly pay is .. well.. measly.. it's more than I can make anywhere else in town. Then I remind myself that they're going to pay me the same thing whether there are sales are not and I convince myself to just ride it out until the house is paid for.

In the mean time, TA and I have accumulated a stack of free pallets. If the ground isn't frozen when she's off on Monday, she'll finish digging the steps out. I'll have to wait til payday to get some water seal stuff. I'm hoping that will keep the pallets from rotting out from under us.

We've come to realize that we have a nearly unlimited supply of pallets that we can get from The Asylum and we've devised a plan to build a privacy fence. It will be way more work then buying panels, but the only cost, I think, will be nails and fence posts. The only thing that concerns me is whether or not either of us is strong enough to drive that many nails. I tend to use screws for everything so I can use my little power screwdriver, but nails will be less expensive. We'll see how the porch project goes first.. before one of us is rendered paralyzed by wiping out on the broken back steps.

I've been looking at sheep online. Did you know that Shetland sheep are little like Babydoll sheep? And that they don't have to be sheared? Apparently, they shed in the spring and you can sort of pull the loose wool, like we do the bunnies. It's called rooing. I could roo sheep.

You realize I'll likely be long dead before I can ever accomplish everything I have planned.

I also found a livestock auction over in Erwin, TN which is actually closer than Big City when you take the cattle trail over the mountain and through the woods. I told TA we needed to go check it out one Saturday, before we decide to buy anything.

Speaking of TA, she had a telephone interview with the Big City college library yesterday. It would be a decent job with good pay, doing what she wants to do. She said she froze and is convinced she came across like an idjit, but I'm hopeful that she gets called back for person to person interview. I'm not sure how they'll feel about the facial piercings and tatts, but whatever. In Big City, that describes pretty much everyone.

TA just has the one tattoo. It's the tree of life with a Thor's hammer in the trunk on her forearm. It's easily covered. Don't tell her I said this but.. at first glance to me it always looks like a big anchor and I'm reminded of Popeye. As for the piercings, she's got clear bits she wears in them when she works at the Frog Pond Holler library on Saturday mornings.

Am I rambling? I feel like I'm rambling.

As of this moment, the innerwebs is up and running, so I'd better strike while the iron is hot and get this posted. Ya'll take care, kay? We'll talk again soon.

Later Taters!!!


Travel said...

Every job has it's day, never stop looking, someone, someplace, someday is going to recognize your brilliance and let you shine.

Anonymous said...

Nice of TW to put it that way. Sheeesh.

Fingers crossed for TA!


poopie said...


kenju said...

My fingers are crossed too - good luck TA.

Twatwaffle might have been smelling a thin pelt in her own belly, as my mom would have said.

Anonymous said...

A tip? Paint/Seal the boards BEFORE you nail them up....far and away easier than painting a fence. Think about renting a nail gun and compressor?

Teressa Welch said...

Good luck with everything you have planned! And, if TW had said that to me, I would have calmly farted and walked away...but that's just me;)