Dearest Peppermint Twatwaffle

As your humble employee, I realize there are things that you feel I am too feeble to comprehend, but when there is one person covering both production and shipping, one person covering sales and those are the only two people who can answer the phone (because apparently you are exempt from learning the switchboard if you have a weenis, go figure,) AND the P.A. system has been broken for a week, just how the hell do you expect us to handle incoming calls? I can't leave my desk because I have the switchboard, yet I'm expected to run out in the plant and hunt people down every time their wife/girlfriend has a bread and milk emergency.

If you could explain this to me, that would be great.

I understand that the elderly gentleman who was supposed to retire six months ago, who handles all repairs, is on vacation, but when both lasers quit and one of the balancers is all kittywampus, I really think maybe you should call someone to come fix that shit. Your stomping up and down the hall with your explosive camel toe, mumbling to yourself because nothing is going to ship this month, isn't very productive and it's not getting you any sympathy from me.

Let's look at this rationally.

You want enough $$ to ship by tomorrow to make budget and we can't build anything because all the machines are broken. Clyde comes back from vacation on the 6th of next month.

You can see how this isn't going to work, right?

I know I'm stupid and all, but you can probably go on the internet yellow pages (I can show you how to use the internet, I know you're still mastering email,) and look under "maintenance" or "repairs" to find someone to come fix.. oh I dunno... SOMETHING.

Maybe if I had one of those fancy degrees like you have I'd see how you're going to pull this one out of your Spanx.

Your happy little worker bee,



Anonymous said...

'explosive cameltoe.'



kenju said...

What Tiff said. I pictured that, but it was so hard on my brain that I stopped before it was complete.

My dad used to say that if all the guys who have engineering degrees would listen to the guys who have had on the job experience for 30 years, the world would be a better place. Apparently, they still haven't learned.

mookzmom said...

lol…You know I just love you, right? I do believe that "explosive cameltoe" is a new part of my lexicon.
Love, from your friend, Pam Miller

Anne said...

Hope you had a Merry Christmas & have an incredible New Year!

And... I blame you. Yes- you and the damned cute bunneh pics.

Because I now have 5 (2 of which are almost 3 weeks old.) As I steel myself against their cuteness- for they are to be "meat" rabbits.. they got named... and resolve is failing. At this rate we won't be eating rabbits, but rather eating like rabbits. 2014 may be the year of lettuce.

Mahala said...

OMG baby bunnehs are the cutest things ever.