The Hutterites Made Me a Vegetarian

It's a lifestyle change I've thought about for a long time, the decision to remove critter flesh from my diet. Ya'll know I'm one of those super freaky animal loving type weirdos, but growing up in a culture where celebrations are filled with pig roasts, turkey dinners and Southern Baptist socials with damn tasty fried chicken, I was able to justify my meat eating ways.

After the childhood flogging I received from one of Granny's chickens, I've often commented that fowl were the only beast I didn't feel guilty eating. But that was sorta a lie about the guilt. Not the flogging.. that scarred me for life.

As a child I even helped dear old Dad slaughter ... I'm sorry.. clean.. the deer he brought home every fall, along with turkeys, squirrels, quail and more fish than I care to mention. There's a picture somewhere of me posing in a pretty Sunday dress beside a gutted dear hanging in the garage. If I were ever stuck on a deserted island and had to clean and field dress wildlife to survive, I could do it. I'd surely be bawling like an infant at the same time, but anyway...

Recent news of "pink slime" added to the ground beef in grocery stores, assorted leftover body parts that have been treated with ammonia before being added back to the meat, made me wonder what the hell else they're putting in our food. Then, around the same time, Bossholio went on a sales call to a facility that supplies eggs, in liquid form, in tankers to restaurant chains. The stories he came back with would put you off eating out for the rest of your life.

He was picking feathers out of the company car for weeks.

What pushed me over the vegetarian edge was an episode of "Meet the Hutterites" on one of those circus side show channels. They can call it educational if they want, but let's face it, they're just exploiting people who are different from the societal norm. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to be all Judgy McHolyPants, I was watching it after all, but let's not kid ourselves.Calling the shows educational is sorta like calling ketchup a vegetable.

Anywho...

I was enjoying the show, silently laughing at the sorta manly looking girl with the weird accent, because sometimes I'm a bad person, when they cut to a shot of a pig dangling upside down from a backhoe.. ALIVE.. and hollering for it's life as they gutted it.

I can still hear it screaming.

I haven't touched meat since.

There was another episode later, which I figured would be safe to watch because seriously, how many animals do you need to slaughter during a season of television to make a point? But I was wrong. It was a cow that time. Slightly different method, I'll spare you the details.

Look, I'm not a total boob. I know where meat comes from, I know things have to die and I'm not going to go all militant about it. I still have to buy food for The Amazon and Ma. I'll probably still have to cook it. But I'll feel a lot better about myself if I don't eat it. I'll still eat eggs, but they have to be free range. I figure, if it's my main source of protein, it's okay to pay more for a dozen. I'll be saving what I would normally spend on meat. I plan to do dairy, but again, I'm going to be a little more picky about where it comes from.

It remains to be seen if I'll be able to pass the Bojangles drive thru without hopping in line.

Managing my blood sugar will be a bit of a challenge without meat. A vegetarian diet is rich with carbs, but I've been reading up on it and it can be done.

I'll keep ya'll posted. If you know of any awesome recipes, drop me a link in the comments. I bought two cans of chickpeas Friday and I have NO clue what to do with them.

Ya'll have a good one. We'll talk again soon.

Later Taters!!

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