Hopeless

Ma's still at home.

She can no longer get to the bathroom so we have a potty chair pushed up to the edge of her bed. I'm not able to get her in and out of the shower by myself anymore.

But she's still at home.

Her doctor signed papers stating she needed to be in a nursing facility, at least on a short term basis for physical therapy. The county social worker and the one from the home health group have called and sent applications to different facilities..

But she's still at home.

Apparently nursing homes have had their hands slapped by Medicaid for housing mental health patients, when they don't really provide mental health services. So now, if you have a history of mental illness and need nursing home care, it's like you've got leprosy. Nursing homes are afraid to take you because they might not get paid.

She has a nurse that comes to the house once a week, checks her vitals and asks if she's eating. There is a team member from her mental health provider who stops by twice a week to ask her if she's taking her meds.

Medicare won't pay for a home health aide to come in and help with personal hygiene and she can't get Medicaid as long as she's at home because she gets too much in social security benefits.

I don't even know what to do anymore.

It's not about my not wanting to do what she needs. It's about coming home from the grocery store to find her in the floor and not knowing how long she's been laying there. It's about going to give her meds before I go to work in the morning, discovering her bed is a nasty mess and having to leave it until I can run home at lunch and take care of business.

I can't be late for work.

She's not hard to take care of. She doesn't ask for anything. She's in constant pain. She agrees she would be more comfortable in a nursing facility.

Ma worked all her life, paid into the system. This isn't fair to her.

I've even had a social worker from the E.R. call me to ask what the deal was, why she keeps falling and what am I doing to fix things. I told her my hands were tied. She called the county worker and gave him an ear full. Next thing I know, he's calling me saying he's found a place for her.. at the place they put people with developmental disabilities. He said they'd make sure she had Depends and took her medicine.

It made my chest hurt to even think about it. That's not what she needs.

I don't know what to do.

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