Courthouse Hippies, Refurbished Airstreams and Rice Crispies

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I am happy to report that I took 4 hours vacation on Monday and went to the courthouse to see about getting my tickets reduced, found that not only is the D.A. a little old hippy woman who looks kinda like Kathy Bates, but she had just gotten back from the festival across the river, celebrating Jerry Garcia's birthday and as a result (I suspect) all my fines were forgiven. 

Seriously. There was a "Jerry Garcia's Birthday" festival. 

I tried to get there at one, hoping everyone would be back from lunch, but that's what time they GO to lunch, so I had to kill time walking around town in the blistering heat for an hour. It was only like a bizillion and a half degrees with nine hundred and eighty nine percent humidity. 

Under bewb sweat was the least of my personal hygiene concerns.

But anywho.. that was my Monday.

Also, remember the clusterfuck that was my colchicine prescription? Dr. Sexypants filled out all the paperwork and returned it to me right away and I stuck it all in the mail with hopes that I can get it free from the manufacturer. They said it would take about two weeks for my drugs to arrive at Dr. Sexypants office. In the meantime, there was a horrific FIRE at Dr. Sexypants' office AND IT'S NOT THERE ANYMORE.

I swear.

I'm not making light of the fact that there was a serious fire, a fireman was killed in the blaze and several were injured. It's a horrible, horrible thing that happened and ya know, the noggin doc DID say I needed to stop making everything about me...


Yesterday I was finally able to get in touch with Dr. Sexypants' nurse, who had to call me back because in all the confusion, she wasn't even sure where the mail was going. After a couple of conversations, we finally determined that my little package of goodies hadn't been received yet and she'd call me when it was.

I've been out of the little magic pills since about last Friday. I'm really starting to feel it. I've got Rice Krispy joints, especially in my shoulders (snap, crackle, pop) and the funky fevers have started.

Remember the psychiatric appointment for Ma that I was so excited about? They called from that office on Tuesday to say they'd had a cancellation for Wednesday. I jumped all over that chance. Of course, I had to ask Bossholio if I could leave at noon for the second time in a week, this after having to ask him for a ride home twice last week while The Amazon's Blazer was broken AND if I could leave early on Friday, also because of the Blazer.

I don't like to ask Bossholio for favors. But I did. For Ma. I printed out all the "new patient" forms Tuesday night and filled them out, got the directions, planned how I was going to get Ma into my truck... I was ready.

I rushed home at noon on Wednesday and asked her if she was ready to get in the shower.

"I don't feel like going."


I told her she had to go. She got up with her walker and took two steps, feigning weakness before falling back gracefully onto her bed.

"You'll just have to call them and reschedule."

In my head that translated to, "You'll just have to ask Bossholio for ANOTHER favor."

I went into "oh fuck this" mode. I was so angry I was shaking. I told her that the next time she wandered out in the road in the middle of the night, she'd better hope some one happened by and took pity on her, because I wasn't chasing her trifling ass at all hours anymore. I had too much to do with a full time job, cleaning up after every damn body, making sure everyone got where they needed to be, cooking and then.. when I had FREE time, working on my shop...BECAUSE I LIKE IT. I needed my sleep, I didn't get to lay in the bed all damn day.

I know, I'm a horrible person. I'm sure there are times when she's off her noodle, but I also know that there are many times that she knows EXACTLY what she's doing and I'm tired of trying to figure out what the hell is going on at any given moment.

I want this so bad I can taste it:

The day I found it on Craigslist for $8000, I got one of those pre-approved credit thingies from a local loan company for $7500. If that's not a sign, I dunno what is. It's got a full (although tiny) bathroom, a nice sized bed and full hookups.

And it's so me.

The orange would have to go though.

Anywho.. that's the latest and greatest news from the Land O' Mahala. How are ya'll?

We'll talk again soon.

Later Taters!


Anonymous said...

Girl I swear if things get any crazier in your neck of the woods...there is gonna be some kind of fireworks go off. Your momma sounds like my grandmother. She was always on deaths door, but the minute you wanted her to see a Dr, something else had come up and Lordy, she just couldn't make it. LOL. Guess that's part of getting older. I sure hope something breaks loose for you soon. You so need and deserve something good.. I have fingers crossed for ya.

tiff said...

Gosh that trailer's cute!

So, DID You take her to the doc or did she get her way once more? What a pain!

Anonymous said...

I want an Airstream too, and that one is sweet! Love the orange! You must buy eet! (on a side note, if you're ever out in my neck of the woods - Arizona - there's an old mining town that hippy artist types have made into a tourist destination called Bisbee. There's a "motel" called the Shady Dell where you stay in refurbished Airstreams. Too cool. I have a feeling you'd love it too.)

As far as your Ma goes, you are a good daughter. But I too hope something breaks for you soon, because you deserve more happy, less stress. Keep writing and hang in there!


Mahala said...

Tonya: I think part of why Ma doesn't want to see a doctor is because she knows they'll be able to tell she's about three fourths full of hockey.

Tiff: She flat out refused. I gave up that day. I'm not using anymore of my vacation time getting jerked around. Since she's "fine" whenever she sees a doctor, she must be "fine" the rest of the time. I just can't do it anymore.

b.fez: I've seen those places advertised! I love Airstreams :) I have to clean off a spot in the yard (the nature, it has taken over) this fall, if this one happens to still be available by then, I plan to buy it :) Can't swing an extra payment right now. Maybe something will shift in the Universe between now and then :)

kenju said...

Cute Airstream. I hope you get it.

I'd be furious with your mom. I wish there was someone to help you with her.

Anonymous said...

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you (for the Airstream and otherwise)!


BetteJo said...

Arg-h-h-h!! My brother and I had the devil of a time determining at what point Mom meant what she was saying and when she didn't have a clue. Honestly - it makes you crazy. I think the little RV would be a heavenly oasis from all the crazy.