The Latest

Let's just say to hell with the polite introductions and get down to business, shall we? There's some catching up we need to do. Sit. Pour. Sip.

Here we go:

The Amazon: Walking Tall

Why is she walking? Because she's not driving, not her own vehicle anyway. She wasn't approved for credit to buy the nearly 6 year old, slightly musty smelling pick up truck with 74K miles, even with a 2K down payment. My offer to co-sign didn't help. I reckon when the finance nazis credit people looked at my income and considered what I already owe, they deemed it impossible for me to make ends meet. Sadly, they're not aware of my juggling talents, my coupon ninja skizzles nor my ability to make money magically appear right before they send a cut off notice.

So for now, she's hoofing it around town and taking Jolene when she needs to go to Big City.

I'm walking around with my medicated smile, telling everyone that everything happens for a reason, but deep down, it pisses me RIGHT off. It's not fair. She's a good kid. She pays her bills and she works hard. And honestly? I feel like a piece of crap because I can't buy it for her.

Old Faithful Has Nothing On Us

There's something disturbing about taking your morning shower, your head covered with soft, citrus scented suds, lost in your thoughts of a tall, dark, handsome man and hearing the gently perculating sound of the coffee pot.. then remembering that coffee pots don't do that anymore and realizing the sound is coming from your toilet.

Brushing your teeth becomes an adventure when half way through, water starts bubbling up in the bathtub, making that angry, gurgling noise just before spewing all sorts of nasty, brown substances all over your freshly scrubbed tub.

We just had the dudes with the uber rooter hickey out here in the spring. We paid them a small fortune to clear the line, ripping out a tree root and making our lives flushable again. Now they must return.

Seriously? Is there a hidden camera somewhere? I'm feeling a little punked.

Do you have ANY idea what it's like to put off buying a decent washer for like.. two years.. then finally getting one and not being able to use it because when it drains it causes a hellacious shit storm in both the bathtubs?

But I keep smiling.

43 is Kicking My Ass

I hate to whine.. honestly.. but since I seem to be on a roll, what the hell, right? My FMF (aka Familial Mediterranean Fever, Armenian Disease, Recurrent polyserositis, pick one) flared up about a month and a half ago and hasn't calmed down at all. It's not as bad as it was before treatment, but still.. it's Not. Going. Away.

Prepare yourself. I'm fixin' to enter into some serious TMI territory.

Attacks are always worse when it's time for Aunt Flo, but she's being a real bitch lately and keeps acting like she's going to show up.. ya know.. sending her luggage, calling to make sure I've her room ready, but then she never gets here. I see her run right up to the door, then she rings the bell, turns and runs, giggling insanely,  back into the woods. She's done this like.. three times lately and it's starting to tick me off.

In the mean time, the FMF has my hands feeling like this:



And my back and legs? They're acting a lot like this:



Please don't tell me I'm "getting to be that age" where Aunt Flo is going to start acting stupid and that it's "just a part of getting older" because in my current perpetual state of turbo bitchiness, I'm probably not going to take it well.

Other Odds, Ends and Tidbits
  • I still don't have a new job, although I am still looking.
  • Bossman is still a ginourmous, steaming pile of buttmunch.
  • The formerly hairless Boston Baked Beagle has put on so much weight from the 'roids that he's now got man boobs.
  • When a medication label says not to stop taking it abruptly, for the love of Pete, pay attention. I ran out of batshit crazy drugs for a couple of days. It was unpleasant. It will not happen again.
  • I was on the Mediterranean diet thing again. But then Thanksgiving happened. Between the Turkey Day fixins and the take out Chinese from Saturday, my fridge is looks like the blue ribbon winner at the 7th grade science fair. I gotta get back on the yogurt, nuts and rabbit food.
Anywho.. I think that sorta gets us caught up for now. I hope ya'll are having a bootay kickin' kinda day.

We'll talk again soon.

Later Taters!