Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Here I Go Again On My Own

The sun is shining bright down upon Frog Pond Holler this morning. We had frost warnings last night and the air is cool and crisp.

A right damn fine day, if ya ask me.

This week, I was supposed to go back to my 8-3 days, but Bossman had a death in the family and will be leaving at noon today, to be out for the remainder of the week.... so I'm back to 40 hours.

Funny how things just keep seeming to work out that way huh?

I'm leaving around 9:30-ish for the dreaded doctor's appointment. This will be the first time in my 43 years that I've relayed the gory details of my clusterfucked childhood to a licensed professional and asked for help. I've started down this road before, but I've always either chickened out or allowed myself to become convinced that I'm just being a big baby.

What makes it so difficult is... when I finally told an adult all those years ago, like the ABC After School Specials kept telling me to... my family members called me a liar and at the same time, told me it was my own fault for sashaying around the house in a nightgown, at the ripe old age of TWELVE for gawdsake, unfairly tempting the uncontrollable desires of the menfolk.

So you can see why I'm scared absofuckinlutely shitless to tell anyone else.

But I'm not backing down. I faced the son of a peapicker at my Mamaw's funeral, in front of HIS family, on HIS turf, staring straight in to his crocodile tears and telling him to get his hands off me, right there in the funeral home.

Okay so.. I damned near passed out in the process.. but I did it.

After that, this should be a piece of cake, right?

I promise not to dwell on this subject much in the future. I know it makes some people uncomfortable, but at the same time, I feel an obligation to share at least some of what's going on with me on a personal level.

On a slightly different note, if time allows, I'll be taking an extra thirty minutes or so to stop and get myself a nice new set of hookerlicious acrylic french manicured pornstarrific ho-nails on the way home.

Because everyone deserves to treat themselves after uncomfy doctors appointments. Even if it means spending part of the grocery money.

Oh yeah.. I almost forgot... Valkyrie comes out on DVD today. With Eddie Izzard. Maybe as an added bonus, I'll have a spiffy red Netflix envelope waiting for me in the mail when I get home.

Ya'll have an awesometastic day. In about twenty minutes I'll be cruising around curvy mountain roads in my big ass Silverado, singing this at the top of my lungs on my way to Big City:



Say a little prayer for me.. if you're into that sort of thing.

Later Taters!

4 comments:

Critter said...

hang tough!

Evil Twin's Wife said...

By now, you should be admiring your reflection in those super duper hooker nails! I hope things went well.

Unknown said...

Check your email. Had plenty to say, but not in here.

Hugs.

rennratt said...

I'm with BetteJo. Stand strong. You have a tough road ahead, and many far-flung friends cheering you on.

It's going to be okay.

Congratulations on the awesome nails!