The Groping Engineer, Jasper and Sasquatch


Ahh.. the weekend is almost over. In a few hours, Monday will be upon us again. My slothful weekend was a success.. sort of. I took care of a few domestic duties that have been nagging at me for a while, but I did them a little at a time, with plenty of breaks. I actually feel well rested.

Last night I decided I needed to do something about a situation I've neglected for too long. Ya'll have to understand, living here in the holler, I don't worry too much about impressing anyone. Any man I happen to stumble upon during my limited travels is probably my cousin anyway, so stuff like shaving my legs, especially during the winter months, gets pushed to the bottom of the to do list.

Last night, I took action.

It didn't end well. We cancelled the transfusion, but I may require a skin graph.

It looks like somebody slaughtered Sasquatch in there.

But the legs? Like a baby's tushie... if you can look past the Snoopy bandaides. I just hope I don't excite Jasper or the Groping Engineer. They've been circling my cube lately, like a horny pack. It must be mating season for the Pocket Protectapis Dorkus Maximus.

I don't think I told ya'll about the Groping Engineer. He looks like Colonel Sanders, drives an old beater Ford truck (with camper shell) and lives alone in a house he rents out on the edge of town.. with a home made tepee in his yard.

Can you say serial killer?

He likes to pass me in the hall and run his hands up and down my forearms.. which I'm convinced is just a lame attempt to cop a feel of the girls. We've never had a conversation. I can count the number of times he's spoken to me on one hand.. making his obvious comfort level with rubbing all up on me in the hall all the creepier.

*shudder*

Anywho...

I've been thinking about last week at the Asylum and I've decided that I'm damned proud of myself.

When Bubbles first came back to work, I was already insecure. I'd been moved to the sales department and had about a week's training when the sales manager quit. I didn't know what I was doing and Bubbles thrived on letting me know that I didn't do anything right when she got there.

Since she's been gone, I've been paranoid as hell that I'd make a mistake, causing the GM to decide that I couldn't handle it, forcing him to ditch me and hire her back.

But last week... I kicked ass. Alone. And it feels good. I'm convinced it was just what I needed to restore confidence in myself.

Everything happens for a reason.

Ya'll have a good one. We'll talk again soon.

Later Taters!

8 comments:

rennratt said...

Well, as a boss, let me tell you this:

There's a REASON that you were kept and Bubbles wasn't. The GM may never tell you that, so take my word for it, okay?

You're better at the job - and you're easier to deal with. Drama only goes so far...

BetteJo said...

Feels good to have no one telling you what you need to do, or how to do it - and you do it all and you do it WELL!! Woo hoo! You SHOULD be proud of yourself!

kenju said...

No doubt that Renn is right. You should be proud as all get out!

Jeni said...

Isn't it just a grand and glorious feeling when you know you did a great job and totally kicked butt though?

Kudos! If anyone deserves them right now, it sure as heck is you!

You Rock!

Evil Twin's Wife said...

I think I'd be walking around with my arms behind my back. No one touches me unless I know them well or I feel very comfortable with them. Ick!

Mahala said...

Thanks ya'll. It's nice to have that week out of the way. As for the Groper.. hopefully he'll stay back in the engineering cave. I took them plenty of work last week.

MJ said...

Ew. I have a few "touchers" at my workplace. They like to lay their hands on my shoulders when they talk to me...

Ugh. Makes me shudder.

Anonymous said...

Happy Monday
DG