The Drama Contiues, With a Cherry on Top

Mr. Superbreeder showed up at the office yesterday afternoon. I met him at the reception window and he said, "Wail, you wanna step outside or do ya want me to give ya the money right cheer?"

I felt like a shady, backstreet drug dealer.

I told him to just hold on to it, I needed to find the title first. I promised to let him know as soon as I found it.

"Wut time do you get awff?" he asked. I told him five and he followed up with, "Wail, wut time do you want me to come by?"

I'm getting really annoyed with Wonder Wang, if ya'll hadn't noticed.

"Don't come by, I'll CALL you when I FIND the TITLE," dude was seriously treading a fine line.

So Super Soaker left in a huff, but seriously, I needed to look for it and I'm in extreme crankyass mode lately anyway. After he left, the GM, the PM and HR all decided to give me hell because... OMG a MAN had come to the office and asked for me. I wasn't in the mood for any ribbing but since they're all management and I'm not, I tried as best I could to smile and take it.

Did I mention that I'm cranky?

I tried to include Bubbles in the conversation, telling her it was her neighbor that was causing me all this grief and she jumped right in and joked around.

As soon as everyone else cleared out and she thought I was away from my desk, she called the PM, who she has wrapped around her little finger, and told him that she was afraid, working next to "split personality girl." She then went on to crack schizo jokes, laughing her ass off, thinking she was just. So. Damn. Funny.

And there you have it. This is why I don't speak to, associate with or otherwise acknowledge Bubbles. She is always with the mean spirited, hateful, hurtful comments every time I try to play nice.

Let's recap. She's calling me crazy because I let my guard down and tried to play nice.


Anywho, I went home all stressed out over the car and my feelings hurt by Little Miss Psycho Bitchface. The Amazon was gone to Big City with a friend and Ma said she didn't care if I fixed dinner or not, so I went outside and wrestled the large patio umbrella out of the dog lot (it was no longer serving it's purpose) and did some tidying up. I felt a little better after spending some quality time wallering the large, hairy, bear like creature that resides there.

I went back inside and started loading the dish washer. There was a large collection of dishes in the sinks and on the counter, a sight I dearly LOVE to behold each day when I come home from work. I was a little sweaty from being outside dog wallerin' and I didn't think when the bead of sweat ran down the side of my head. Without really paying attention, I attacked it with my finger, chasing the bead down inside my ear. The sudden realization that I had just used that VERY finger to pick some of the previous night's mac and cheese dinner loose from the pot and that it was covered in gooey, cheesy goodness BEFORE I put it in my ear and that it was now CLEAN was somewhat disturbing, to say the least.

Oh yeah.. did I mention I'm out of Q-tips? Just for future reference, in case any of you ever need to know, a spoon handle fits nicely.

What? Oh. My. Gawd ya'll. I had SWEATY CHEESE GOO in my EAR. Don't pretend you wouldn't be shovin' a spoon handle up in there to get it out.

As the night wore on, I did some clock designs for my shop. I thought it was going to be really complicated, but thankfully it wasn't. Once that little task was completed, I started digging through my "important papers" binder, finding my car title. It was easy peasy (but not mac and cheesy .. although the jury's still out on my ear.)

This morning, I found Wonder Wanker/Suprebreeder/BreederBob's business card, which states "Towmater sez dragem in, drivem out."

No shit.

I called and talked to at least three different children who weren't old enough to be in school before the phone started roaring, clicking and beeping, then went dead. I gave up on callin' the house. Next I called his cellphone and left a message.

That was two hours ago. I'm still waiting.

I didn't want to come to work this morning. Bubbles' little comments really rattled my cage yesterday. I vented to Lulu, who assured me that if I was a little crazy, it was only the inbred side of my brain trying to come out.

She said it out of love.. honest.

I soon realized that I need to stop feeling guilty for trying to stay away from Bubbles and her little Bible thumping gangsta crew. As much as I whine and bellyache here, I can say with a clear conscience that I've never said anything to intentionally hurt her feelings. Never. She can't make the same statement.

I also realized that her habit of leaving her copy of the New Testament on her desk, her taping of Christian poetry to her wall and her constant mention of church (which she actually rarely attends) is nothing but her own little smoke screen, trying to hide the evil little psycho she really is.

At the very least, I don't try to pretend to be something I can never achieve.

I think I'm going to venture outside and get myself some air. Ya'll have a good one.

Later Taters.


terri said...

You get bonus points for not ripping Bubbles' head off of her neck. She is EVIL!

tiff said...

I wouldl ike ot see a picture of the back of Bubble's head, so I can stare at it from a far and make her very nervous. She ain't no good atall, and is hiding behind that Bible...

Law Student Hot Mama said...

You should confront Bubbles! I would. Saying something like, "Hey - I heard your comments that I was schizo girl yesterday . . . don't try to pretend like you didn't say it because I heard you. It's juvenile and not a good idea at the workplace. Please refrain from making such comments in the future."

Mahala said...

I'm afraid it would turn into a big bruhaha and I'd end up in trouble. I do feel like I sort of wussed out though.

Rachel said...

Oh darlin. Bless her little pea pickin heart, she is just full of spite because she can't manage to be what you are. REAL. HONEST. Mean people suck.


Dianne said...

You didn't wuss out!! Don't make me come there and smack you - I just took my bra off.

As rachel said so beautifully - you are a real, honest person.

she is a bogus bible thumping bitch

PS - I'd never really smack you

Mahala said...

I love ya'll :)