It's a brisk 48° in Frog Pond Holler at the moment. I'm loving the cooler temperatures. This body isn't built for the heat. The dishwasher is on it's second run (where the hell do they all come from??), the kitchen table is almost cleaned off, a bag of trash has been hauled outside and the Amazon is gone to work.
Yes I'm aware that a run down of my domestic accomplishments doesn't make for an intriguing read, but I'm in a sharing kind of mood. Be thankful I don't have any oozing rashes in embarrassing anatomical regions, because I'd probably feel compelled to share that too.
I got a call from the Avon lady yesterday. Not the dead one, that would be.. well.. weird. She said she'd bring my order by the house this morning, news which is causing me all kinds of stress. I politely suggested that she could just run it up to the office, even if she had to wait until Monday, but she assured me that she didn't mind coming by here.
I spaz out at the thought of people coming to my house. I'm not sure if it's embarrassment, shame or just another symptom of my social retardedness but I cringe at the mere suggestion. I've been sitting here watching out the window for her car, with the hopes that I can run out and meet her on the porch without seeming like too much of a freak case. A moment ago, a car pulled up in the driveway so I tried to beat the dogs to the door and got half way out, just in time to see the excited tourist point and smile at the goofy hillbilly in her natural habitat. Her companion must have thought I was coming after them with a shotgun because they peeled out of the drive and burned rubber halfway to town.
I can't decide if I need to move back up on the mountain somewhere or to huge city where you're lost in the crowd.
3 comments:
It could be fun to get a shotgun and amuse the tourists.
I was out in the street during the wee hours of the morning talking to a drunk couple argueing in the middle of the street. Deterimed that no one was getting kidnapped or raped, pointed out all of the lights comming on in the neighborhood and told them to expect the police in about 3 minutes. They were gone before I was back in the house. I need to get a smaller gun to carry outside at times like that, the big stainless taurus is just a tad intimindating.
DG
I'd vote for the big city, where you can be one of the faceless in the crowd.....LOL
Nah -don't move to the big city -take the "hillbilly" stuff and revel in it! I love the descriptions you give to various things, various activities -like the bit about the excited tourist seeing a "goofy hillbilly in her natural habitat."
And really, why worry about your home - if someone is coming to see if my house is all spiffy clean, remodeled and furnished like we are the elite or something, and if that is what is most important to that person about me, then I don't need them in any way, shape or form. Now, if someone is coming to my house and isn't going to get rattled by the various stages of disarray that may be around the place (and this is just the first floor -God forbid anyone see the upstairs or inside my little cubby hole of a room though) -then those are the people I'd be cultivating as friends - the rest can go suck my big toe.
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