Hot and Bothered

The sound you hear, is my head banging against my desk in frustration.

There is a large sign over our thermostat here at the asylum that says "DO NOT TOUCH." If anyone feels the temperature needs adjustment, we have to go find an almighty management person to fix it. Yes, I know it's juvenile, but Thelma likes to set it on 58° and Lulu freezes if it's set below 70°.

For the past few days it's been in the seventies in Frog Pond Holler, making it quite warm in our offices, which are located inside a manufacturing facility. I assumed that they were either trying to conserve, that the AC had busted last week when we had the great mold flood or that maybe it was just me having a power surge. I came in this morning, already grumpy as hell, then had to deal with Thelma and Louise yacking about nonsense because they had their door open. I was sweating like a ho in church and it wasn't even 9 a.m.

This would not do.

I went in search of the management... I found Purchasing Guy.

"Hey PG.. is the AC busted or what? Why is it so hot in here?"

"It is hot in here, has been for days. I don't think it's working," he stated, in his infinite wisdom.

I walked over to the thermostat.

"Hey PG, I don't think it's on. Is that intentional?" I asked.

"No one's touched it, it should be on. It's busted. I'm not calling a repairman this late in the season, we can make do."

I gave up on Purchasing Guy, he'd argue the paint off the wall before he'd admit that he was wrong.

"Hey Tiny, can you come here a minute?" I asked the plant manager.

"Why suuuuuuuuuuure. What kin I doyafer?" he answered. The thermostat in question is right outside Tiny's door. He has to look at it every time he enters the office. Keep in mind, we've all been walking around for three days, sweating and complaining that it's hot.

"Tiny, I know I'm just a simple peeon and I don't know much, but this thermostat sure looks like it's setting on eighty degrees. Do you suppose that could be why I have sweat running out of places that are best kept secret?"

"Huh! It shore is... I wonder how that happened! If you wuz hot, why didn't you turn it down?"

I pointed to the huge yellow sign over the thermostat box.

"If you're going to put a "DO NOT TOUCH" sign on the wall, then you can't blame me for not adjusting the settings. Someone (Purchasing Guy) obviously turned the AC off when we had the great mold flood and never turned it back on."

Within minutes, Purchasing Guy came down the hall and had figured out a way to make it my fault. Something about they depend on me to complain and I didn't say anything so they figured it was okay. I just looked at him and told him, "If you were hot and you have to wait for someone to come tell you you're hot before you'll do anything... well.. that's just kinda sad."

I'm still grumpy.... but I'm not sweating. It's lovely and cool in here now.

Sometimes, the men I work with make me realize that being single really isn't all that bad.